| Good for the Soul
Summary from official site, www.duesouth.com via Wayback Machine When Fraser and Ray arrest Warfield, an important mob boss, for slapping a bus boy, Warfield's lawyers threaten the Chicago PD with an harassment suit. Believing no one is above the law, even on minor charges, Fraser begins a personal crusade to bring Warfield to justice. While Christmas shopping, Fraser and Ray witness a man --Wilson Warfield -- slapping a busboy for spilling water. Fraser tries to help the busboy, but Warfield's bodyguard pulls a gun. Ray slaps on the handcuffs, then, to his horror, realises he's just arrested one of Chicago's biggest mob bosses on a charge of minor assault. Back at the station all hell breaks loose. The Chicago PD has been trying to put Warfield behind bars for years. He's already walked on four charges of murder one. It's hardly likely a charge of minor assault will stick. In fact, Warfield's lawyers are preparing a harassment suit against the Chicago PD, the Mounties and anyone else in sight. Not surprisingly, the bus boy refuses to press charges. Welsh tells Fraser he can't buck the system. Warfield has money and power. Fraser believes that no one should be above the law. He goes to Warfield's office to ask him to confess and promptly gets tossed out. Inspired by Fraser's determination and eloquence, Tommy the busboy and Frank the waiter agree to testify against Warfield. But then Warfield's thugs threaten Frank and he backs out. Fraser decides to continue his crusade, although everyone else, even Fraser Sr., thinks he's crazy. He begins standing guard outside Warfield's office. Fraser's presence cramps Warfield's style. No one wants to walk pass a Mountie to do mob business. Since using the phone is out of the question, Warfield is forced to take his meetings on the street. His mob associates begin to wonder if he's losing control. Warfield's lawyers can't do anything about Fraser. It would be difficult in court to explain why a police officer's presence interferes with business. Warfield's lawyers advise him to confess. He'll just get a slap on the wrist anyway. Warfield refuses. Now it's a battle of wills. Warfield has his goons trap Fraser and beat him up. When Fraser walks into the Chicago PD badly bruised, the other officers feel ashamed for not supporting him. His determination rekindles their own faith in justice. Together they visit Warfield at his club, with surprising results. Written by Peter Mohan
Regular Cast
Guest Stars:
Unofficial Transcript: Good for the Soul **Shopping mall** Fraser [to Dief]: No, I assure you, it is a polar bear. Well he lives in a mall. You keep eating those pizzas, we'll see how you look inside of a year. Ray: Got it, last death ray gun in the store. Almost had to flatten this lady from Oak Park to get it. Fraser: Ah, who's it for? Ray: I dunno, ah desk sergeant's kid, maybe I'll keep it for myself, it's pretty cool. Watch. [Ray spins around, shooting the toy gun] Fraser: That's really irritating, Ray. Ray: What, you didn't get anything? Fraser: Well no, I tend to. . . well, I prefer to make my own presents. Oh my, look at this. Look at this. This is nice. Kiosk vendor: The gentleman has a good eye. Fraser: Ah, How much for, uh, how much for this? Kiosk vendor: It's a log. Fraser: Yes, uh, would five dollars be sufficient? Kiosk Vendor: Yeah, sure. Fraser: Here you are. Merry Christmas. Kiosk Vendor: Merry Christmas. Ray: Fraser, it's a log. Fraser: Marvelous log. **In a restaurant across the mall**
Fraser [runs toward the commotion in the restaurant]: Excuse me sir, I'm sure this young man meant no harm. Warfield: If I was you, I'd walk away. Fraser: Well, happily, as soon as you apologize to this man. Warfield [laughs]: I don't apologize to anybody ever. Fraser: Well, perhaps now would be a good time to start. Warfield: Yeah? You want an apology? [Slaps boy] Fraser: Very well, you're going to have to come with me. I'm performing a citizen's arrest. Warfield: Ha ha, get out. [Marty pulls out a gun. Ray rushes up to the scene.] Ray: Chicago PD, drop the gun. On the table, drop the gun. Am I going too fast for you? Marty: I got a permit. Ray: Shut up. On the table, get on the ground. All of you, on the ground. Warfield: Do you got any idea who I am? Fraser: No, but I'm sure you'll soon tell me. [Mumbling in background] Ray [softly]: Warfield? Waiter: Look, look, please. This is just all a misunderstanding Tommy (the busboy): It was my fault. Waiter: Look, we don't want any trouble here. Gentlemen, please. No trouble. Fraser: It wasn't your fault. You made a mistake, and this man committed a crime. Ray: Fraser. [takes Fraser aside] You know who that is? Fraser: Apparently his name is Warfield, and- Ray: He's one of the biggest mob bosses in Chicago. Fraser: Oh. **Credits Roll** Fraser: Ladies and gentlemen, we greatly appreciate your cooperation, we thank you for your patience. Now all of you were witness to a crime, and if you'll be so kind as to step forward one by one, we'll be very happy to take your statements. [to Ray] Apparently no one saw anything. Ray: Really? Fraser, I am shocked and amazed. Fraser: Anything, ladies and gentlemen, anything that you remember at all. Anything. Bartender: What would be the point? Fraser: The point would be justice. Bartender: Where the hell do you come from? Ray: Canada. And zeal's a big thing up there. So this is definitely a zeal. . . Bartender: Well, maybe there they got justice. Here, we got brains. Fraser: This victim was a fellow employee, a friend of yours. I can't believe that none of you are willing to make a statement. [Mumbling in crowd] Fraser: Ladies and gentlemen, I, I really don't mean to be condescending, but justice cannot exist in a democracy without the support and cooperation of an informed citizenry. If you let this man walk away from his crimes, you not only let down this entire city, but you encourage him to continue in his criminal endeavors. Frank: Maybe we're afraid. Fraser: Of what? Frank: Warfield. Fraser: There's nothing to be afraid of. There are laws. Frank: Not working too good as far as I can see. Fraser: Well they will work, if you all do your part. [looks around] I thank you kindly for your time. **Precinct** Female reporter: Lieutenant, I hear you have Willie Warfield locked up. Welsh: Look, I just got here, I don't know what's happening yet. Male reporter: Do you think you finally have something that'll stick to slick Willie? Welsh: A couple of my best men brought him in, if they believe they have something, I gotta believe them. Female reporter: What are you charging him with? **Welsh's office** Welsh: Slapping a busboy? You brought Warfield in here for slapping a busboy? Fraser: Yes sir, is that a problem? Welsh: It's a nothing beef, Constable. He's already walked on four murder-one and conspiracy charges, you think he's gonna go down for spitting on the sidewalk? Fraser: Well, no sir, I think he's going to go down, as you put it, for assault. Welsh: The kid won't even press charges. Fraser: Well, but we both witnessed it. Welsh: Detective, would you explain to the Constable how the system works? I, I gotta go deal with a high priced lawyer. Ray: Lieutenant's right, Fraser. Fraser: That's an explanation? Ray: No, it goes, uh a little something like this. Um, Warfield's a big mob guy. Fraser: Whom I'd assume you'd like to see in jail. Ray: Whom we'd love to see in jail and we've been trying to put him there for years. Fraser: Well, we witnessed a crime. This would seem to be the ideal opportunity to ar. . . What? Ray: Two words, two words. Money and connections. Fraser: He is a criminal. Ray: Look we witnessed a slap in the face. The kid's not gonna sign anything, so we have no complaint. Warfield has no priors because he's never been convicted. And eh, he's got lawyers who get paid more in one hour than we make in a week. He's never going to court. Fraser: Because he's rich and he's powerful. Ray: You were paying attention. Fraser: It's wrong. Ray: It's wrong, it's very very wrong, but that's the world we live in, that's the system we work under. Fraser: Yes, but this is the problem, Ray, it shouldn't be about a system, it should be about justice. Ray: Yeah, in a perfect world, in a perfect world, in a truly perfect world. And have you seen one of those around here lately, Fraser, 'cause I know I. . . Fraser, don't get all moody. Dewey: Frannie, what the hell's that? Frannie: It's my Santa Claus. I made him in art class. Dewey: You took a class to make that? Frannie [about Dief and Ante]: I wish someone would look at me like that. Hi Fraser! Fraser: Hi, Francesca. Frannie: How do you like the Christmas tree? Fraser: Well, it's very nice. Frannie: And the, and the Santa? Fraser: Very Santa-like Frannie: I made it in art class. Fraser: Ah. Frannie: Hey, did you get a name off the, uh, tree yet? Fraser: I beg your pardon? Frannie: Well, we're exchanging gifts at the end of the week, you know, for whatever name you get. Fraser: Ah. [takes name] Excuse me, Tommy. Tommy: Why don't you just take a gun out and shoot me now? Fraser: Well, that would be homicide, Tommy, and what I imagine you're actually suggesting is that Mr. Warfield would have you killed if you filed a complaint. Tommy: I'm not suggesting nothing about nothing. Nothing happened. I didn't see nothing, nobody hit me, I wasn't even there. Frannie: Yeah. This is his statement. [waves a piece of blank paper at Fraser and Tommy] Fraser: There were a number of witnesses who saw him strike you. Tommy: What witnesses? Fraser: Well, unfortunately, we were unable to persuade them to come in. Tommy: I wonder why? Fraser: I saw him strike you. Tommy: Well, you've got bad eyesight as far as I'm concerned. Can I go now? Fraser: Yes. [Tommy walks away. Warfield walks through bullpen] Warfield [pointing at Fraser]: Make sure you spell his name right. Ray: In the harassment suit, he's already named the Chicago PD, Lieutenant Welsh, and me. Warfield: Hey, did I miss anybody? Welsh: Ah Warfield, you know it's just a nuisance lawsuit. Warfield's Lawyer: Mr. Warfield's been arrested four times by this department, lieutenant, and four times he's been exonerated by a jury of his peers. Now, if that's not a clear pattern of harassment, I don't know what is. Ray: It's a clear pattern of being mobbed up. He pays people off, he kills witnesses. Marty: Hey, lawyer, isn't that defamation of character? Warfield's lawyer: How would you like a little lawsuit of your own? Ray: I'm sorry, Mr. Scumbag, I missed that. You want what? A kick in the teeth? Welsh [puts hand on Ray's shoulder]: Ah, detective, please. Lawyer: You know lieutenant, this particular charge is so ridiculous, let's not even bear discussing. Maybe if you dropped the charges against Mr. Warfield, we could forgo the legal action. Ray: Hey scumbag, maybe you'd like a kick in the teeth. Welsh: Ah detective, please you got some paper work you gotta do, so please. Fraser: Mr. Warfield. May I have a word? You know what you did is wrong. Welsh: Constable, please, I think you've done enough already. Fraser: Yes sir. Frannie: [on phone] Oh, yeah, I don't, I don't think I could do that. I'll have to let you know. Ok Fraser: Something wrong, Francesca? Frannie: No, it's uh, my art class, next term we're, we're supposed to study nudes, and I just really don't think I could be in a class with anybody, nude. Fraser: You know, Francesca, as beautiful and natural as a human body is, I, I understand completely what you mean. I wonder if you could help with some information. Frannie: Sure, what's up? Fraser: I need to know everything you have on Mr. Warfield, his prior arrests, surveillance reports, known accomplices, whether he poses in the nude. Frannie: Was, was that a joke? Fraser: Yes. Frannie: Oh, that was so good! Fraser: Thank you. **Warfield's club** Bouncer: Mr. Warfield. Warfield: Let the young ladies in. Bouncer: Certainly, sir. [Mumbling from crowd about waiting] Bouncer [to Fraser]: Man, you are out there! Fraser: Oh! Me? Bouncer: The outfit? Lots of people do some nutso stuff to get in here, but that, is beyond belief. Fraser: Well, I believe there were a number of people ahead of me. This gentleman for example, this fellow here. Bouncer: Look, do you want to get in or not? Fraser: Very well. [to crowd] I'm terribly sorry. Woman in club: Excuse me! Fraser: Thank you kindly. Woman on dance floor: Whoa handsome, wanna dance? [Fraser takes a few steps, walks away] Fraser: [to Warfield's goons] Ah gentlemen, I wonder if one of you'd be so kind as to use your wireless radio frequency communication devices to let Mr. Warfield know that Constable Benton Fraser is here to see him. Goon: Do you know the boss? Fraser: We have met, yes.
Goon: Mr. Warfield, we got a guy out her in a red suit, says he knows you. Warfield: You're kidding me! The Mountie? Nuts, let him in. **Club** Fraser: Thank you kindly. **Warfield's office** Warfield: Ok, you're in, what do you want? Fraser: I've come to ask you to confess to the assault charge. Warfield: Confess. You want me to confess? Fraser: Yes. Warfield: That's a joke, right? Fraser: Well, I think you'll feel better. Warfield: I feel fine. Fraser: Well possibly, but I think you would discover there's a lot of truth in the old aphorism that confession is good for the soul. Warfield: Confession is good for losers. This an official police visit or what? Fraser: No, I have no jurisdiction here. I'm simply trying to see that justice is done. Warfield: So. You walk in here, to my place of business, you insult me to my face, but you're doing it on your own time? Is that what you're telling me? Fraser: Well, I don't see that an appeal to your sense of justice is an insult. But on balance you're correct. Warfield: Get him outta here! And make sure he don't come back. Fraser: I think you will discover that I don't dissuade easily. Warfield: Well dissuade him hard. Marty: He's a cop Willie. Warfield: I know what he is. Fraser: I think what your man is suggesting is that it's uncommon for organized crime to use violence on police officers. Marty: He's got a point, we don't need the heat. Warfield: Do it! [Fraser is helped out of the room] Richie, you and Johnny see this gentleman out. **Outside** [Two goons fight with Fraser. Fraser is winning until one pulls a gun on him] Goon 2: Gotta do this. Ray: I got a better idea. Drop the gun, Chicago PD. Up against the wall. Fraser: Been expecting you, Ray. Ray: Huh? Fraser: I'm glad you came. Ray: What were you thinking? Welsh told you to stay out of this, I told you to stay out of this. Next thing I know you're in a punch-up with a couple of Warfield's goons. Goons: Goons? Fraser: I don't think I had a choice Ray. Goon 1: Actually, we're like security agents, pal. Goon 2: I got a diploma in hospitality services. We do not appreciate being called goons! Ray: You always had a choice Fraser. Goon 2: You could be looking at a lawsuit. Ray [to goons]: You could be looking at my fist if you don't put a sock in it. Goon 1: That's intimidation. Ray [to goons]: Yeah, I hope so, get in the car. [to Fraser] You had a choice. You could have stayed at the consulate, you could have stayed at the station or or or- Fraser: Ray, I was hoping to convince Mr. Warfield to do the right thing. Ray: He's a wise guy, he's never done the right thing in his entire life. Fraser: Well maybe now is the time to start. [Laughter from goons in car. Ray and Fraser thump the roof of the GTO.] **Precinct** Frannie: Ok, Dief. Wreath. Thank you. Welsh: Ms. Vecchio, don't you think you're overdoing it a little bit? Frannie: I'm just trying to make the place look festive, sir. Welsh: Police station's not a shopping mall. Frannie: It's only once a year! Welsh: Thank god! No murders, no suicides, no families tearing each other's throats out, no differential between what you take in and what you put out. Fat guys in red suits. Frank: Constable Fraser, can we talk? Fraser: Of course. Eh. Perhaps somewhere private. Frank: Me and Tommy've been thinking about what you said, about justice and all. Tommy: Just thinking. Frank: We do this testify thing, we, we get protection? Fraser: I'll do everything I can to ensure your safety. Frank: What does that mean? Fraser: I can't pretend that this is without risks. Mr. Warfield is apparently a violent man. Tommy: See, I told you Frank: And like I told you, guys have been pushing me around my whole damn life! Don't say nothin', you'll lose your job, don't say nothin', he'll kick your butt. Don't say nothin'. I'm an old man, and I still never said nothing. You don't want to be my age and feel like that. Tommy: We do this and I doubt I'll see 20. Frank: Guy's gonna kill ya for a slap in the face? He's smarter than that. So maybe you better stay out of it, and I'll be a witness. That work? Fraser: It'll help. Frank: Let's get out of here. Tommy: Hang on. We get protection, right? --- Stella: Protection? If Constable Fraser wants to offer protection, let the RCMP supply it. Ray: Call me old fashioned, but I don't think Yuletide is a great time to get shot in the head and dumped in a river. Stella: Ray, in the spirit of Christmas, drop dead. Fraser: December 1963, breaking and entering. August 1965, car theft. October 1966, assault. December 1966, robbery. Every charge dropped for one reason or another. It's not surprising Mr. Warfield thinks he's above the law. And if perhaps if someone along the way had been willing to prosecute him, he might not have become the hardened criminal that he is today. Welsh: I think it's a little late for that Constable. Ray: What about the assault charge on Fraser; Warfield called that! Can't we make that stick? Welsh: Ah, they're claiming Fraser was drunk and disorderly. Ray: Disorderly? His hair's not even disorderly. Fraser: Well, it can be sometimes. Stella: They've got twelve witnesses who'll swear that he was threatening Warfield. Constable, no one gets convicted on a first time assault that doesn't result in actual bodily harm. My god, you can practically beat someone to death in this city and not get convicted. I'm sorry! Frank: You get our protection? Fraser: In a manner of speaking, yes. Shall we? [Warfield points finger at Tommy as though it were a gun.] Tommy: You better have our protection. Fraser: It's just a finger, son. It's not loaded. **Consulate** Fraser: Here we are. Frank: This is the safe house? Fraser: Couldn't be safer. I also have several bedrolls here... Tommy: I thought we'd get a hotel room, like in the movies. Maybe a nice looking police woman would look after us. Fraser: Well here comes one now. Thatcher: Fraser, I thought perhaps a little seasonal. . . Frank: Don't mind if I do! [Frank and Tommy each take a glass of wine from the platter Thatcher's carrying.] Thatcher: . . .cheer. [to Fraser] What are you doing bringing homeless people here? It's Christmas for god's sakes. Fraser: I realize that sir, but these friends of mine are, well, they're needy, and with your permission I thought they could stay here for the next couple of days. Thatcher: This is the Canadian consulate, not a homeless shelter. Fraser: I understand that. Suffice it to say that there are issues of justice and individual liberty at play here. And, it is Christmas. Thatcher: My point exactly. I'll leave this to you for now, but tomorrow you, Turnbull and I will sit down and discuss the decorations for the consulate - what color bulbs to use, the tinsel, oh, I found some fabulous gold ribbon for the tree. And, of course, spirit of giving, peace on earth, blah blah blah. [Thatcher leaves] Frank: We gonna sleep here? Fraser: Yes. Frank: No offense, but I'm getting a little too old to sleep on the floor. Maybe I should go on home. Fraser: Uh, well, I'm, ah, I'm not actually sure that, that's a good idea. Frank: The dog snore? Fraser: No. Well. Yes. Dief: Arf, arf. Fraser: Well you do. You know, perhaps you gentlemen could take him for a couple of laps in the hallway. He tends to sleep a much more soundly after a little exercise. Ah, Dief? **Fraser's Closet/Robert's Cabin** Fraser: Dad, I have guests! Robert: Well pardon us for living. Fraser: What, what's going on here? Robert: Well the group are making up some gifts for the orphans. Brighten up their Christmas. Fraser: You have orphans in the afterworld? Robert: Well not really, they're just kinda lost. The group of six have always been known for their charity. Fraser: Dad, there was ne-- there was a group of seven.. Robert: No, not in our group. Always six. Except for that one time we let in Rene Tibault. He got into the turps. [turns off music] So what are you hoping to get these wise men to do? Fraser: Their duty. Robert: Theirs or yours? You know, son, not everyone thinks the way you think, not everyone has your dedication, your commitment, your, your, well, frankly, your rigidity. Fraser: I'm only doing what you taught me. Robert: Well I've learned a few things since I died. Fraser: Such as? Robert: Well, I wish I'd spent more Christmases with you. And the branch that cannot bend must break. Fraser: Are you saying I should give up on this? Robert: No, of course not. Some trails are solitary and must be taken alone. [sound of knocking on closet door] That'll be for you. [Fraser exits the closet] Tommy: You ok? Fraser: Yes, yes, I just uh, I can't seem to locate the darn Hudson blankets. [Tommy points to blankets on top shelf of closet] Fraser: Ah, eagle eye son. Tommy: Ah, Turnbull said to give you this package. Fraser: Ah, very good. Uh, the Yukon. [Opens package, pulls out a log.] Marvelous. Where's Frank? Tommy: Went home. Said there was no way he could sleep on the floor. Said not to worry. Fraser: Turnbull! [to Tommy] Do you have Frank's address? Tommy: Sure, uh, 414 Wilson Avenue. Turnbull: Sir? Fraser: You're out of uniform, Turnbull. Turnbull: Yes, I am. You see, I was upstairs, listening to my Clint Black Christmas album, getting in the festive spirit, if that's all right. Fraser: I see. I want you to lock up after I go. You don't let anyone in until I return. I want you to guard this man with your life. Turnbull: Trouble sir? Fraser: Of a kind. Turnbull: Trouble's my middle name. Fraser: Right. Well Tommy, you're in good, uh. Well, you're in hands. Turnbull: Sir. [to Tommy] You look like a natural baritone. Do you know the words to Santa drives a pickup? [singing] Oh the elves topped off the gas tank, Santa climbed aboard. He turned that engine over, on the '67 Ford. Oh Santa drives a pickup, the reindeers ride in back. Look out for that fat man, he'll be coming down your stack. Oh Santa drives a pickup, Come on! the reindeer ride in back, look out for that fat man. . . **Outside, in street** [Frank is walking down the street. He is being followed by a car and 2 goons. He starts running, and bumps into Fraser.] Fraser: You'll be all right. Gentlemen, I'm going to have to ask you to stop. Goon: Stop this! [Fraser knocks down one of the goons. A horn honks twice. Goons run off.] Frank: I can't do this, I can't. Fraser: I understand. Frank: I'm no hero, I'm sorry. Fraser: It's all right. I'll walk you home. **Consulate**. [Fraser is singing Santa Drives a Pickup under his breath and carving an elk out of a block of wood.] Fraser: Good morning. Sleep well? Tommy: The dog snores like Mike Didka with a sinus condition. Fraser: Yes, I know. Tommy: Did you find Frank? Fraser: Yes. Tommy: Where is he? Fraser: He said he had a sister in Waukegan. I believe he's staying with her. Tommy: He split? Fraser: I'm afraid so. **Precinct** Dewey: What name did you get? Fraser: I don't follow. Dewey: From the card tree. Who do you have to buy for? Fraser: Oh, ahem, I believe it is. Ray. Dewey: Perfect. Let's trade. Fraser: Trade? Dewey. Yeah, see, I got Welsh, and uh, I can't buy for the lieutenant because you see, I work for him. You see, if I buy small, I'm a miser, if I buy big, then I'm kissing up to him. So it's lose-lose. Robert: Office politics. Even at Christmas. Not for me, not in the good old days. Christmas eve, gimme a wild open vista, a starry sky, and a good sled dog. Fraser: And what about um, your mother? Dewey: Well, my mother, well I'll just get her a couple of cases of hairspray. Listen, you see, Ray, on the other hand, is no threat to me. He has nothing, so he's easy to buy for. But the lieutenant, you don't even work for him, you can do whatever you want. It's win-win. [grabs paper from Fraser's hand] Thanks. Fraser: Very well. [to Robert, who's looking at the Christmas tree] Ahem, what are you doing? Robert: Just wondering if my name is on a list here. Fraser: I'd think that unlikely, since you are dead. Robert: Huh. Back in '55, when I was leading a detachment out in Reliance, it wasn't much of a detachment, really, just me and Delbert Foxworth. Well, Norbert Weatherwax got into sauce, went on a tear, tore up half the town. I sent Foxworth out to bring him back. He came back empty handed. A couple of days later I found out that Weatherwax was married to Foxworth's half sister Edda. Well, I guess- Fraser: Dad, I don't mean to interrupt, but does this, this story have a moral? Robert: Oh yeah, sometimes you have to do it yourself. That's the moral, son. Fraser: Ah, Francesca. Frannie: Hi Fraser. Mistletoe. Fraser: Oh, so it is. Right, right. [Fraser runs away. Frannie looks disappointed. Robert kisses Frannie.] **Warfield's club** Warfield: You got brass ones, I'll give you that. Fraser: [looks down] Oh, well, yes, yes I do. They take quite a lot of work to keep polished. Warfield: Huh huh. I hear the charges against me got dropped again. Fraser: I anticipated that. Warfield: Good. You come by to apologize? Fraser: No, sir, I came by to ask you to reconsider your confession. Warfield: I had a guy like you work for me once. Bruno Himps. Big Dutch guy. He got drunk one night, stood on the track, try to stare down the 310 to Skokie. They had to pick him up with a shovel. Fraser: Sir, you hurt an innocent man. I can't let that go, so I will continue to gather evidence. In the meantime, it's come to my attention that you're engaged in a variety of activities that may not flourish with an officer of the law present. Warfield: Is that a threat? Fraser: No, I'm merely stating the obvious. Warfield: Well, let me suggest something even more obvious. One good whack in the head with a hammer, if you ain't dead, there'll be days when you wish you were. Fraser: Oh, would that be a ball peen, or a claw hammer, sir? Warfield: That would be a big hammer Fraser: I see. **Warfield's office** [knock on door] Warfield: Come in. [Marty enters] What? Marty: Eddie just called from his car, he wants to meet somewhere else. Warfield: What, somewhere else, we gotta have a sit-down, me and Eddie. Where else we gonna do it? Marty: Eddie won't come inside with that Mountie out front. Warfield: Aye. . . **Street** Eddie: I wanna freeze my big ones, Willie, I go to a Bears game. Warfield: I could use the fresh air. Cooped up all day. Eddie: Cooped up by the cops I hear. Been downtown a couple times. Warfield: Nothing to worry about. Eddie: Couple times uh, don't sound like nothing to me. The boys are wondering what's going on. Warfield: The boys come on now, we're on business. They ain't what we gotta talk about. We gotta talk about Vinnie the Hole. Ever since he started running the east side, our take's been down thirty percent. Eddie: I got no problems with Vinnie. What I got problems with is that funny looking cop that's been hassling you. Warfield: He's nothing, he's a joke. Eddie: Better start laughing. Lets get out of here. **Warfield's office** Warfield: You're a lawyer, file a suit or something. Lawyer: He's in a public street. Warfield: He's harassing me. Lawyer: He's just standing there, Willie. Warfield: Interfering with the conduct of my business. Lawyer: That's an area I don't think we should open up. Warfield: What the hell, I'm just supposed to let him stand there? I got people I gotta talk to. Lawyer: I suppose the telephone's out of the question? Warfield: I can't do business on the phone. Lawyer: But Willie, this is really difficult to explain in a courtroom. Marty: I got an idea. Cop to it. Warfield: What? Marty: It's nothing. The worst you can get, the absolute worst is a fine. So so so do it. Get over with it, lose the Mountie, and get back to work. Lawyer: Y'know, Marty's actually making sense, Willie. With the money you pay me, I should have thought of it. Warfield. Willie Warfield don't cop to nothing, nothing! Never never never! Do you understand me? Lawyer: Come on Willie, this is crazy. Y'know I heard you had him attacked. You do that, you're making it really difficult for me to protect you. Marty: Logan's right Willie. And he's not the only one. The other guys feel the same way. Warfield: What the, are you two developing some sort of backbone all of a sudden or what? Marty: You're supposed to be running a business here. Now why don't you just Warfield: [slaps Marty] What do I pay you two bastards for? Now you get him out of there, now! **Street in front of Warfield's club** Fraser: [to Dief] You know you really have to stop complaining. You've been on stakeouts before, you know what it's like. [Dief whimpers] Yes, I know you'd rather be with her, but it's sort of cliché, don't you think? I mean, Wolf meets poodle, poodle hooks wolf, wolf liquidates his assets. It can only ends in tears. [Ray pulls up with GTO] Fraser: Afternoon, Ray! Ray: Fraser. Welsh got a call from the chief, chief got a call from downtown, Warfield's, uh, lawyers, uh, they want you out of here. Fraser: I see. Ray: Look you know me and the system are like this, Fraser. But this time you're wrong, they're right. Fraser: I don't think I am wrong. We both saw him assault that man. Ray: Look, even if by some miracle Warfield were to cop to the whole thing, he's gonna get a slap on the wrist. Fraser: And justice will have been done. Ray: Justice, how is that justice? The man is a killer, he's gonna get a 50 dollar fine. Look, don't you get this? This makes his harassment crap look legit. I mean, what if somehow we get a real beef on him? You know, and then Warfield's lawyers get involved, this could screw the whole thing up somehow. Fraser: Ray, just think about it, two good men, one who should be accorded the respect due his age, one little more than a boy. They are frightened. They're frightened and ashamed. And they've good reason to be frightened. They don't think they can stand up to the Warfields of this world. Well I can. And I will. Ray: Fraser, get in the car. Fraser: I'm sorry Ray. Ray: Look Fraser, I am a cop, and I'm ordering you to get in that car. Fraser: Are you arresting me? Ray: Yes. Fraser: On what charge? Ray: Ah, look, I don't want to be forced to use force upon you. Fraser: No, you won't. Ray: You're right. Fraser: I know. Listen, can you do me a favor and, uh, do you mind dropping Diefenbaker off at the consulate on your way back to the station? He seems to find all of this sort of boring. Ray: Look, you know what you are? You're selfish. You're selfish. You get a thing stuck in your head and you won't let it go no matter how hard it is on anybody else. You even boring the dog. Fraser: He's not actually bored, he's in love. Ray: Heh, dogs have all the fun, uh. Fraser: Yeah. [Dief gets in car, Ray gets in the car] Ray: Look, Christmas brings out the worst in people. Fraser: Mmmm. [closes car door] Drive safely. [Whistles] **At night, still on street** Woman's voice [from alley]: Help! Somebody help me! Stop! Uh!!! [Fraser, who is wearing his Stetson, rushes to alley to help woman.] Fraser: Hold it. Woman [turning around]: Ah ha. Thug from behind: Hey! Fraser: I assume Mr. Warfield is unhappy with my presence here? Thug: Lets just say you pissed off the wrong guy. [Fraser is brutally beaten by the four men and one woman. He reappears, limping and bleeding, back in front of Warfield's club. The accompanying music is A Midnight Clear, sung by a male voice, a capalla.] Bouncer: Good evening, Mr. Warfield. Warfield: See, there's only one law that counts. Only one rule. Hardest guy wins. Better get that straight. You're just a loser. Fraser: Understood. **Precinct**. [Frannie is decorating the tree, singing a carol] Frannie: [to Dief] Hey, kid, you're looking good! Oh yes, you're so cute. [looks up] Oh my god! Dewey: What happened? [Ray is walks in, supporting Fraser, who is still badly hurt.] Ray: Don't know, got a call from one of the bouncers at Warfield's club. Huey: Shouldn't he be at the hospital? Ray: Wouldn't go. **Welsh's office** Frannie: God, Fraser, does it hurt? Dewey: Probably no more than being hit by a truck. Fraser: It's fine, Francesca. Frannie: Well, maybe you should take your shirt off. Ray: Frannie! Frannie: Well, he could have internal injuries. Huey: If it's internal, you can't see them. Frannie: Yeah, I know, but I could palpitate them. Fraser: Do you mean palpate? Frannie: Yeah, you know, feel around a little. Ray: Personally, I think he's suffered enough, Frannie. Welsh: Ah, are you feeling better, Constable? Fraser: Ah, much better, thank you sir, thanks to Francesca's excellent care. Welsh: Good, good. I've told Ms. Kowalski the story. Ray: So we're gonna nail Warfield? Stella: Unfortunately, there's nothing to tie the attack on Constable Fraser to Mr. Warfield. Ray: Nothing? He was attacked right outside of Warfield's club. Stella: Yeah, and Lincoln got shot in Ford's theatre, didn't mean Mr. Ford did it. Ray: Yeah, was Ford mobbed up? Welsh: Can you identify any of the assailants, Constable? Fraser: No, they were, they were all wearing masks. Ray: Look, we know that they were Warfield's guys. Stella: Knowing something and proving it are two different things. Ray: Well, how about we just go roust them up anyway? Stella: More harassment? Forget it, Ray. Ray: Stella, I was thinking maybe if you had some time, we could uh, have some eggnog and maybe trim a tree? Stella: Yeah, and I could shoot moonbeams out my. . . Welsh: Ms. Kowalski, thank you. Ray: Yeah, she was never that big on Christmas. Or me for that matter. Welsh: Constable, uh, I'm afraid we haven't been too much of a help to you on this one. Fraser: I've come to believe I have unrealistic expectations. Ray: Uh, a little impractical, maybe, but- Fraser: No, Ray, you were right. You can't beat the system. Ray: Let me give you a ride home. Fraser: No, I think I'll walk. A walk will do me good. Frannie: Uh, Fraysh, hey, take it easy, ok? Fraser: Understood. **Outside** Fraser [to himself]: I was selfish, I know, my, my feelings above everyone else's. Dad? Huh, you're ignoring me now. That's great. That's great. [Fraser passes carolers. Robert is among them; he walks to Fraser while singing Holy Night] Fraser: Oh hi. Do you think I'm being selfish and single-minded? Robert: Oh, you're more than that son. You're obsessive, overbearing, possibly even arrogant. Fraser: Well, thanks a lot dad, that, that makes me feel a whole lot better. Robert: But you've been right. [Robert starts singing again, rejoins the carolers. Fraser walks on. The GTO pulls up.] Ray: Hey Fraser! Fraser: You know Ray, I, I really would rather walk. Ray: Well, you you can walk all you want Fraser, but uh, there's something I wanna tell you, and uh, it's not the easiest thing for me to say, but, I'm proud of you. Fraser: You are? Ray: Yeah, you've been right about this thing all along. Fraser: I have? Welsh [from back seat]: Yes you have, Constable. We've just been too hung up on all this bureaucratic crap to give you the help you really needed. Fraser: Well, you know, sir, I understand that you have to contend with practicalities. Welsh: To hell with them. Hop in. Fraser: Well, I'm- Ray: Ride shotgun! Fraser: Ok! **Warfield's club** Bouncer: Na na na. Forget it. No way you guys getting back in here again. Welsh: He's with us. Move. [They enter club] Ray [to young girl in club] Got some ID? Girl: What? Ray: You got some ID? Girl: What? Ray: ID? Girl: Oh, are we gonna play cops and robbers? Ray: No, just cops. You better be over 21. [Huey arrests a woman snorting something. Fraser stands in the middle of the crowd, looks amazed.] Welsh: Welcome, shoe salesmen of America. I see you've come to sample some of our local delicacies. Haven't seen these women together since I worked south side vice. Hey, cut the music, cut the music. **Warfield's office** Warfield: Get Eddie in here tomorrow. Marty: I don't think he's coming. Warfield: Why the hell not? Marty: I hear he's got something going with Vinnie the Hole. Warfield: He got something going with Vinnie, he's dead. Marty: What it is, Mr. Warfield, you gotta start getting on top of things, 'cause they're like sharks out there, and they're smelling blood in the water. Warfield: I'm starting to smell you, Marty. [phone rings] What? Voice on phone: Yo boss, we got cops out here! They got- Warfield [stalks out into club]: I'll have all your badges for this! Welsh: We're only enforcing - Warfield: You're enforcing to harass me! Ray: Nobody's harassing you. Dewey: Yeah, we're just cleaning up the riff raff hanging out in your club. Huey: Kind of doing you a favor. Warfield [in Fraser's face]: Screw you! Ray: Look, we can come back here tomorrow night. Welsh: And the night after. Warfield: Not after my lawyers are finished with you. Welsh: That could take some time, and would be very bad for business. Ray: And we got a lot of other places we can visit. Think about it. Warfield: Or maybe you don't walk out of here tonight. Ray: You really wanna try that? 'Cause we're good to go. Fraser: You've abused the system for a long time, Mr. Warfield. You extorted the law and turned it against its own interests. You've used tricks and force and bullying and it's worked. Warfield: Oh. Fraser: But eventually good people do stand up. Dewey: Yeah Fraser! Right on! Welsh: So what's it gonna be Warfield? Warfield: Do 'em. Marty: Mr. Warfield, they're cops. Warfield: I said, do 'em! Marty: No. Warfield: Ha ha ha ha. No, huh? All right, so, what? What, what the hell do you want from me? Fraser: You know what I want. Warfield: [sarcastically] Oh. I'm sorry I slapped the kid. Fraser: Thank you kindly. Merry Christmas. **Christmas party at the precinct** Ray: Fraser! Whose name did you get for the gift thing? Fraser: Uh, as of the moment, Lt. Welsh. Ray: Perfect. I got Francesca. Trade me. Fraser: Why? Ray: Well, with Francesca it's always too heavy. Either she's gonna love what I get her or she's gonna hate it. Either way, emotional contact, who needs it? Plus, I've got this box of Cuban cigars. Lieutenant'll love 'em. Fraser: Very well. Right pocket. Welsh: How you feeling, Constable? Fraser: Oh, much better, thank you kindly sir. Frannie: Oh good! Everybody here. Ok, in the spirit of Christmas, keep your meat hooks off the gifts until I call off your name. Fraser: Oh dear. Turnbull (as Santa): Ho ho ho ho! Ahem. Fraser: Excuse me for one second, I need to have a word with Santa. Frannie: Sure. [phone rings] Squad room. Yeah, just a minute. [to Welsh] It's for you. Welsh: Y'hello. **In Cell** Turnbull: Fraser, it's me, Turnbull. Fraser: Ah, Turnbull, I, I took you for Santa. Turnbull: Understandably. I know how busy you've been lately, sir, so I took the liberty of bringing your work in progress. Fraser: Oh dear. Turnbull: Problem, sir? Fraser: Well yes, you see, when this was to be for Ray, it was going to be an elk, then it was going to be for Lt. Welsh, and it was uh, going to be a grizzly bear, and now its for Francesca- Turnbull: Fret not, sir. Yukon carded pine. Fraser: Good thinking. Turnbull: Your accoutrements. [Fraser carves figure of David] **Back at the bullpen** Welsh: Well, it seems like Warfield was letting things slide at the office lately. When they found out he was in jail, some of his associates decided they'd be better off without him. Ray: And he ratted them out? Welsh: Precisely. Organized crime was waiting for him as soon as he made bail. He was mad, and he was talking. Lot of guys gonna go away for a long time. Tommy: It's true, he's, he's really in jail? Fraser: Yes he is. Frank: Are you ok? Fraser: Hmm hmm, I'm fine. Frank: I let you down, I'm sorry. Fraser: Oh, you didn't let me down. You did what you could do, that's all anyone can ask. Frannie: All right, it's present time! [Picks one up, opens it.] Fraser: I made it myself, out of wood. Frannie: Hey, is, is this Geraldo, the guy who delivers water to my mother? Frank: That's Michelangelo's David. For 400 years, it's been considered to be the most perfect nude. Frannie: Wow, it's beautiful. I love it! Thanks, Fraysh. [Some guy starts singing Silent Night] Thatcher: It's a sword. Fraser: A sword, I see. Dewey: Ah, calling Dr. Freud. Thatcher: Purely ceremonial, you don't have to use it. Fraser: I see. It's very nice. Welsh [sniffing cigar]. Ahhhh. Robert: Cubans, can't get those in heaven. Fraser: And they're illegal in the United States. Welsh: Come on, Constable, lighten up. It's Christmas. Ray: [laughing with Dewey over ray gun] Ah, you know, I already got one of these. Dewey: Get out! Ray: I do, Merry Christmas. Dewey: It's all right. Ok. Ray: You mind if I, uh, donate it? Dewey: Yeah, yeah. [Ray hands gun to Turnbull] Turnbull: Cool. Semi-automatic? Hit the deck! Assassin Santa coming through! [guy finishes singing] Frannie: Here we go! Welsh [offers drink]: Constable? Fraser: No thank you, sir. Frannie: Hey, who wants to make the toast? Welsh: I got a toast, toast - bottoms up! Frannie: How about you Fraysh, you wanna make the toast? Fraser: All right, um. Christmas is more than just a religious holiday. It is a time that has come to have special meaning for people of many different faiths, or lack of them. My own Christmases I remember with a great fondness, and, uh, a certain sense of horror. We always had arctic tern instead of Christmas turkey, or see, a buck thorn bush instead an evergreen, search and rescue flares instead of Christmas lights, and well, I've, I've learned to forgive all of that. Most of all, Christmas is about forgiveness. Merry Christmas, everyone. Everyone: [raising drinks]: Merry Christmas: Frannie: Hey, what's this? [takes present from under the tree] Fraser, it's for you. Fraser: For me? Frannie: Yeah. Ray: What is it? Fraser: It's my family. Robert: Merry Christmas, son. Fraser: Merry Christmas, dad. **End** |