Perfect Strangers

Summary from official site, www.duesouth.com via Wayback Machine

 Fraser and Kowalski investigate two deaths--a flight attendant's murder in Toronto and the killing of a small-time hood in Chicago--that are mysteriously linked. In both cases they have suspects with strong motives and airtight alibis.

Kowalski's long-time informant Sonny Dunlap is killed in what appears to be a fight over money. Before Fraser and Kowalski can finish their investigation, they're called to Toronto on a case that could have international implications. A flight attendant, Chantal Bowman, has been murdered in Toronto, but the RCMP believe the killer was from Chicago. The strange thing is Chantal's pin was found in Sonny's hand.

Kowalski sheds his guns, ammo and knives at airport security and heads to Toronto with Fraser for a briefing at RCMP headquarters. Canada spooks Kowalski: it's so clean and the people are so polite. It's like an entire nation of Frasers. And what is it with all these languages?

Back in Chicago, Kowalski discovers that Sonny was blackmailing Chad Percy, a sports broadcaster, for crimes he committed in the past. It's a perfect motive for murder, but Chad was in Buffalo when the murder took place. Fraser locates Chantal's married lover, but he has a perfect alibi as well: he was in Chicago when Chantal was murdered in Toronto. Things heat up when Chantal's father, General Bowman descends upon Chicago seeking revenge for his daughter's death.

Meanwhile Fraser has other worries. Inspector Thatcher is developing maternal yearnings and he's afraid she may want him to be part of the "process." Fraser Sr., delighted at the prospect, digs out Fraser's old sealskin baby clothes.

Fraser and Kowalski discover the cases have a diabolic link. Now they must find a way to prove it before the General takes justice into his own hands.

Written by David Cole
Directed by Frances Danberger

Regular Cast
FRASER, KOWALSKI, DIEFENBAKER, LT. WELSH,
THATCHER, HUEY, DEWEY, FRANCESCA, FRASER SR. 

Guest Stars
CONSTABLE TURNBULL - Dean McDermott
GENERAL BOWMAN - Scott Hylands
CHAD - Shawn Alex Thompson
Also starring:
Cedric Smith
Kenneth McGregor
Mackenzie Gray 

SONNY DUNLAP - Marqus Bobesich
SHELLEY - Tracey Hway
BUSINESSMAN #1 - Frank Nakashima
BUSINESSMAN #2 - Brett Heard
--------------------------

Unofficial Transcript

Perfect Strangers 

[Ray's car] 

Ray: He's one of those hard luck cases. He bets on a horse, horse dies. He buys horse meat, meat's bad. But his information's good, so I slip him 50 bucks now and then. 

Fraser: You say hard luck. Do you mean hard luck as in. . .? 

Ray: Hard luck as in he wasn't fortunate enough to be born in an igloo 5,000 miles away without TV, water, or drive through. 

Fraser: What do you mean by that? 

Ray: I'm being ironical. 

Fraser: Ahh. 

Ray: You better wait in the car cause Sonny won't talk to me if you're there. 

Fraser: Understood. 

Ray: You want the radio? 

Fraser: No. That's all right. I've got a Mahler symphony I'd like to listen to. 

Ray: Yeah, well, you need the keys. 

Fraser: Well, there's no need, Ray. I have the score right here. 

[Bar; Ray sits as Sonny and another man finish a game of pool] 

George: Pay up, buddy. 

Sonny: I don't have any money. 

George: What do you mean, you don't have any money? 

Sonny: I don't have any money. 

George: You don't have 10 bucks? 

Sonny: Relax. . . [sits with Ray]. . . So how's it going, huh? 

Ray: Good. Hey, you want a beer? 

Sonny: Yeah, thanks. 

Ray: Two beers. . . Cheers. . . [to waitress] Thanks. 

Ray: So what happened at the job at the video store? 

Sonny: That guy was a jerk, man. I mean, I appreciate your help, but that guy was a jerk. My mother dies, he wouldn't give me a week off. 

Ray: Sonny, your mother died a year ago. 

Sonny: Grief has its own timeframe. You can't rush it. 

Ray: Look, your parole officer know that you're living upstairs here? 

Sonny: No. It's only just temporary. Irene's pregnant, right? We get our first welfare check, we're movin' in together. It'll be a nice place. 

Ray: That's great. That's good. I mean that. So, you got anything for me? 

Sonny: Umm-hmm. That container of computers that got lifted off the docks last week? I know one of the guys - 

Ray: You know one of the guys? 

Sonny: I know a guy who knows one of the guys. 

Ray: All right. That's more like it. 

[Ray pays Sonny; George grabs at the money] 

Sonny: Hey! 

George: Give me my money! 

Ray: Hey, hey, hey, hey! Break it up, break it up, break it up!. . . [to George] Take a walk. . . [to Sonny] You sit down. 

George: I still want my money. 

Sonny: He hustled me. 

Ray: Oh, yeah? Well, drop it. Let it go. 

Sonny: I got to go to the can. 

[Car; Dief whines] 

Fraser: Well, what do you expect? You eat an entire pizza and drink a gallon of water, you will have to pee ten times an hour. The concept is called cause and effect. Although I realize it may be somewhat difficult for you to grasp, it's something you should try to come to grips with. It will make life a whole lot simpler. 

[Gets out, waits on sidewalk for Dief] 

[Bar; Ray checks on Sonny, George runs out; bumps into Fraser, who falls on Dief] 

Fraser: Sorry, boy. Get Ray. 

[Chases man; Ray meets uniformed police when they arrive] 

Ray: He's inside. Nobody goes in or out. 

Fraser: Ray? [hands over George] 

Dewey: All yours, Al. 

[EMS takes Sonny out] 

Dewey: Photo guys are done. ??? guys are moving in now. 

Ray [holds out a small pin]: This was in his hand. 

Dewey: Hey, what's that? 

Fraser: OTT Club. 

Ray: Over The Top? 

Fraser: Commercial airlines hand these out to their flight crews. This one would commemorate 100 trips over the Pole. Top of the world. Judging from the maple leaves inset with filigree, I'd say this was a Canadian airline. 

Ray: Canadian? 

Fraser: Airline. 

Ray: Filigree. 

Fraser: Um-hmm. 

[Interrogation room] 

George: I never seen it before. I told you. I don't even know what it is. 

Ray: Ever been to Canada, George? 

George: Canada? Come on, man, I'm not even allowed out of the state. Look, I told you already. I went to the can and there he was on the floor. I didn't do it. He was already there. Is he going to be okay? 

Ray: No. He's dead. 

George: Dead? The guy's dead? 

Ray: Yeah. Real dead. You guys were arguing about money. 

George: Money? Ten bucks! Why would I kill somebody for 10 bucks? 

Ray: You and I both know it's never about the money. It's about who's right, who's on top, who's Mr. Big, right? 

[Welsh's office] 

Welsh: Enough, enough. Just go find Ray. Now. 

Francesca: I'll talk to you when your super-ego is in more control of your id. . . Hi, Fraser. 

Fraser: Ah, Francesca. 

Dief: Whine 

Francesca: What's with him? 

Fraser: I fell on him. I think he was - well, I think he was startled more than he was actually hurt. But apparently I haven't been paying enough attention to him. You know, the fact is, I think it's largely psychosomatic, so I'm just trying to ignore it. 

Francesca: Really? See, I never knew that dogs were so psychological. Have you ever heard of Pamela's dog? 

Fraser: No, I'm afraid not. 

Francesca: Really? Yeah, she's, oh yeah, she's famous. She drooled. I'm taking a psychology course. 

Fraser: Oh, perhaps you mean Pavlov's dog. . . 

[Interrogation room] 

George: Look, I told you I didn't do it. 

Ray: What about your fingerprints all over the knife? 

George: I told you. I was trying to pull it out. 

Ray: Oh. Pull it out, not push it in, right? 

[knock] 

Ray: What?!! 
Francesca: Uh, the lieutenant wants to see you. 

Ray: Okay! Thank you. 

[Welsh's office] 

Ray: What the hell's going on? I'm in the middle of a - 

Welsh: Have a seat. Go ahead, Constable. 

[Fraser inserts a VHS tape into a player, turns it on] 

Ray: What the hell's this? 

Welsh: Quiet, Detective. 

[Woman in a taxi on dark deserted street] 

Ray: What is this? 

Welsh: Patience, Detective. Let it unfold. 

Fraser: We think she knew the driver. 

[Woman gets out] 

Ray: Hey, wait a minute. A stewardess. Does this have anything to do with that Over The Top pin? 

Welsh: Shhh! Just watch it, Detective. 

[Man assaults woman, tape ends] 

Welsh: That's it. 

Ray: That's what? 

Fraser: It's an RCMP recreation of a crime that took place in Toronto 2 days ago. 

Ray: That's a police recreation? 

Fraser: It's interesting, isn't it? The Government funding of the arts in Canada produced a glut of filmmakers at the same time as American domination of Canadian cinemas left these enthusiastic young artists with very few arenas in which to ply their craft. 

Welsh: That's a human tragedy, Constable. . . The Toronto police have given us a positive ID on the number on the pin. It belongs to the victim in that crime there, Chantal Bowman. Age 26. Been dead for 36 hours. Homicide. Still unsolved. 

Ray: Okay. So a stewardess in Canada - 

Fraser: Flight attendant. 

Ray: A waitress in the sky in Canada is killed. Her pin shows up in the hands of a loser like Sonny in the south side of Chicago in this dump? What is the deal? 

Welsh: Well, that's why we have detectives, Detective. You are going to figure out that troublesome problem for us. 

Ray: How? 

[Toronto airport] 

Ray: So this French-English thing. They do it all the time? 

Fraser: Yes. 

Ray: You mean, like, hello-allo, what's happening-que pasa? I mean, wow, it's going to take us twice as long to get anything done. 

Fraser: It's not in everyday speech, Ray. It's just in official announcements and the like. 

Ray: How many of the French live in Toronto? 

Fraser: Actually, very few. Most of the non-English population is composed of Italian, Portuguese, and Chinese. 

Ray: They speak French? 

Fraser: Not really, no. 

Ray: Then why the. . .? 

Fraser: Well, it's kind of a complex issue, Ray. You know, suffice it to say that we adopted a policy of multiculturalism as opposed to the melting pot of your American model. You know, it might be instructive, and just a little bit of fun too, to pick up a copy of the Royal Commission's report on the official bilingualism on our way downtown. 

Ray: A little bit of fun, eh? 

Fraser: Could be fun. 

[Step outside; passerby picks up piece of litter] 

Fraser: I'll hail a cab. 

Ray: It's clean. . . Too clean. 

[Fraser is detained by a group of tourists; a taxi pulls up but two businessmen reach it before Ray] 

First: Oh. Oh, you go on. 

Second: No, no, my mistake. Are you in a hurry? 

First: My daughter's recital. 

Second: Oh really? How old? 

First: Six. 

Second: Ah, that's such a great age. 

First: Yeah. 

Second: Let me give you a hand here. . . 

[At intersection, a man is hawking hockey tickets] 

Man: Hey, you need Leaf tickets? 

Ray: Leafs suck. 

Man: Leafs rule. 

Ray: Hawks rule. 

Man: Hawks suck. 

Ray: You suck. 

Fraser: You are bilingual, Ray. 

[RCMP building] 

Ray: Oooh. The mother ship. 

[Conference room] 

Officer: I was very sorry about your father. He was a good man. 

Fraser: Yes, he was. 

Officer: Please, sit down. . . [a photo]. . . This is the murdered woman. Chantal Bowman. We've confirmed that the pin you found at the murder site in Chicago was hers. 

Ray: Uh, we already got somebody in custody for that murder, but we haven't come up with a connection yet. 

Officer [another photo]: There is another complication. 

Fraser: General Bowman. 

Ray: Who's he? 

Fraser: He's one of our country's most decorated soldiers. Recently honored by the United Nations for his peacekeeping efforts. 

Officer: He's also the father of the dead girl and he's sworn to find the killer. We don't want General Bowman to be the second victim of this tragedy. 

Ray: What exactly is it that you want from me? 

Officer: We believe, as does General Bowman, that Miss Bowman's killer lives in Chicago. We want you to find him before General Bowman does. 

[Apartment] 

Shelley: Whenever we had layovers in Chicago, she just disappeared. I tried asking her about it but she was real coy. I know she had a boyfriend but I never met him. 

Ray: She ever mention a name or describe him in any way? 

Shelly: No. No, but he's older, I know that. And he had a lot of money. That was important to Chantal. He's married, had a wife and three kids, one in college now or something. She kept telling me that he was going to tell his wife about he and Chantal real soon, but the timing had to be just right, you know. The usual crap. Chantal, she was becoming, like, umm. . . 

Fraser: Obsessed? Fixated? Single-minded? 

Shelly: Yeah. Well, she told me last week that if he didn't tell his wife about them, she was going to. . . I still can't believe she's gone. 

Ray [holding up stuffed animal]: How old was she? Twelve? 

Fraser [holding picture]: Was this her apartment in Chicago? 

Ray: How did you know. . .? 

Fraser: Well, it stands to reason, Ray. I mean, he was a married man. They couldn't be seen together. 

Shelley: Yeah. They did have a place. 

Ray: You got an address? 

Shelley: No. But I have the key. 

[Streets of Chicago - two guys get in a fight beside their taxi as they wait at a traffic light] 

Ray: Home again, home again, jiggity-jig. 

Fraser [to driver]: We'll be right back. 

Ray: Chicago PDQ! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Break it up, break it up. Fighting on the street with roller blades, what is that? Come on! 

[Squad room] 

Ray: Francesca, what's up with the yellow thingamajobby? 

Francesca: The human mind. . . Did you know that our minds are affected by color? And yellow happens to be a very soothing color. 

Ray: That is so interesting to me. 

Dewey [gives him wanted poster]: Ray, we found this in Sonny's room. Chad Maxwell. 

Ray: 1980? 

Dewey: Yeah. But doesn't he look familiar to you? 

Ray: I wouldn't know this guy if he jumped out of my suit. Who the hell is Chad Maxwell? 

Dewey: St. Louis. 

Ray: Sonny was from St. Louis. 

Welsh: I know that guy. 

Dewey: Yeah, that's what I just said. 

Francesca: Hey, I know that guy. 

Ray: Okay, so you know the guy, you know the guy, and you know the guy. Who the hell is this guy? 

Dewey: He's that guy, you know. . . that. . . yeah, you know. . . 

Ray: What guy? Francesca, can you phone the St. Louis police department, if you're not too busy being yellow and, uh 

[Thatcher's office] 

Thatcher: My friend Nancy in Trade is having a baby. It's a Mr. Feed Me. It preheats the formula and presents it to the baby. You can set it for 4, 5, 6 feedings a day. When the buzzer goes, it's time to feed the baby. 

Fraser: Hmm. 

Thatcher: What? 

Fraser: Well, sir, in my experience, although very limited, well, infants tend to tell their mothers when they'd like to be fed by crying. I can't imagine that the mother-child bond can be improved upon by technology. 

Thatcher: You're right. . . I'll get her one of those electronic security bracelets. That way she can keep track of it. . . So? 

Fraser: Our assignment from headquarters is to prevent General Bowman from taking the law into his own hands. On a more personal note, sir, it does feel quite good to be back in the saddle again. 

Thatcher: Yes. The bit between the teeth. Two thousand pounds of pulsing horseflesh between your legs. . . 

Fraser: I was speaking metaphorically, sir. 

Thatcher: As was I, Constable Fraser, as was I. . . Dismissed. 

Fraser: Sir. 

Dief: Groan 

Fraser: Would you please not make me look worse than I already do, thank you? Come on. 

[Chicago airport] 

Immigration officer: Welcome to the United States, General. Is your visit business or pleasure? 

General: Neither. 

[Squad room] 

Ray: Okay, Sonny goes to Toronto, kills Chantal. Then he comes back, gets mugged for 10 bucks in Chicago. That's a coincidence. They happen. 

Fraser: But do you really think that's what happened, Ray? 

Ray: Okay, George flies to Toronto, kills Chantal, then comes back and kills Sonny. 

Fraser: Well, why? And how would George even know Chantal? 

Ray: I don't know. I do not know. All I know is that his fingerprints were all over the knife and he had Sonny's blood all over him. 

Fraser: Yeah, but he explained that. 

[phone rings] 

Ray: Hang on. . . [answers] Squad room. Vecchio. . . yeah, hang on. [hands it to Fraser] 

Fraser: Hello, this is Constable Benton Fraser. . . Ah, Turnbull. . . Yes, I'll hold. 

[TV is turned on; local news] 

Anchor: And now for sports. Our very own Chad Percy, whose showing at the recent national celebrity golf tournament for literacy in Buffalo was just brutal. . . 

[Camera angle changes to sports desk; Fraser studies wanted poster] 

Ray: What? 

Fraser: They're the same. Chad Maxwell. Chad Percy. 

[TV station] 

Ray: Mr. Percy? 

Percy: Yeah? 

Ray: Detective Vecchio, Chicago PD. 

Percy: Hey, my golf game wasn't that bad. 

Ray: I just want to ask you a couple of questions. 

Percy: Sure. Ah, let's just go somewhere more private. . . Guys, you want to give me a couple of minutes here? Thanks. 

Ray: You know Sonny Dunlap? 

Percy: Son of a bitch. I can't believe he did it. Yeah. Yeah, I know Sonny. I've been paying him $200 a week for the last two years. He wanted to up it to 5 or he was going to go public. I said the best I can do was 250. He said he was going to think about it, that dumb bastard. 

Ray: When's the last time you saw him? 

Percy: A week ago. Maybe Monday or Tuesday. Look, Detective, that poster is 17 years old. I was hitting the sauce pretty heavy in those days. Yeah. I robbed a liquor store. I don't even remember doing it. I mean. . . Okay, where does this leave us now? I mean, there's a statute of limitations on robbery, isn't there? 

Ray: Yeah. There is, but not on murder. 

Percy: What? 

Ray: Sonny was murdered two nights ago. 

Percy: I am not a violent man. 

Ray: You pleaded guilty to common assault just three months ago. 

Percy: Yeah, well, that was after a traffic accident. Even the judge said I was severely provoked. 

Ray: Where were you Tuesday night? 

Percy: This Tuesday? 

Ray: Umm. 

Percy: That's when he was killed? 

Ray: Umm. 

Percy: Well, I was butchering a game of golf in Buffalo. 

Ray: Butchering. 

Percy: Listen, I got to go. But I hope you catch the guy, and if you need any help feel free to call me. 

Ray: Yeah. 

[Thatcher's office] 

Thatcher: You are an institution in Canada, sir. An icon. We understand your grief at this terrible time - 

General: Don't presume to understand that, Inspector. 

Thatcher: No, sir. But I must remind you that this matter is in the hands of the American authorities. We must leave it to them. 

General: And what are you suggesting? 

Thatcher: General, there is some concern that you may try to take the law into your own hands. 

General: I have led men into some of the worse hell holes on this planet, Inspector, in the name of honor and this country. And you representatives of this country have the nerve to summon me here and accuse me of being a common criminal? 

Dief: Growl 

Thatcher: No, sir. 

Fraser: General, Inspector Thatcher as always is acting in the best interests of the Canadian people and her Government, often under very difficult circumstances. I'm personally liasing with the Chicago Police Department in this case. If you would like to call me at this number tomorrow, I would be happy to go over every aspect of the investigation. [hands him a piece of paper] Thank you, sir. 

Thatcher: Fraser, I'm afraid that I may sometimes underestimate you. 

Fraser: Not without justification, I'm sure. 

Thatcher: Still, it's comforting to know that I can think of you as a partner as well as a subordinate. 

Fraser Sr.: Be careful, son. 

Fraser: Of what? 

Thatcher: Of me. 

Fraser Sr.: When a woman gets that stirring in her loins, watch out. 

Fraser: There's nothing stirring in anyone's loins. 

Thatcher: Did you just say loins? 

Fraser: Oh, no, sir. Loins? Sir? Loins? Sir-loins? Sirloins, possibly, because I have been - I have been thinking about a good piece of meat. . . Sir, would you excu. . .? 

[Fraser Sr.'s office; Fraser Sr. is painting and humming to himself] 

Fraser: What was that all about? 

Fraser Sr.: What was what all about? 

Fraser: You know perfectly well what I'm talking about. Inthatcher Spector's loins. 

Fraser Sr.: You always know where you are with clouds. I was taught that by the Group of Six. 

Fraser: The Group of Seven. 

Fraser Sr.: Not in our group. 

Fraser: Dad, we are not in a locker room. 

Fraser Sr.: She wants you, son, and I imagine by God that she's going to get you, too. 

Fraser: Those don't even look like clouds. 

Fraser Sr.: Oh, son, son, son. You look but you don't see. Now look a little more closely at the details. See, these are not really clouds. I've got the whole family in there. All of us. There's Uncle Tiberius. Behind him, Aunt Winny. See that little space? That's for the grandkid. I'm saving that. 

Fraser: Group of six. . . 

[Fraser's office; Fraser picks up picture from Chantal's apartment] 

Fraser: You look but you don't see. 

[Locates apartment, enters, is attacked by man] 

Evers: Who the hell are you? 

Fraser: Did you know a Chantal Bowman? 

Evers: Why? 

Fraser: I'm sorry to have to inform you of this. There has been - 

Evers: She's dead. 

Fraser: I'm afraid so, yes. Excuse me, sir. . . [goes to phone] 

Evers: Look, I got a wife. I got kids. 

Fraser: Detective Vecchio, please. 

Evers: I can't get involved in this. 

[Leaving building] 

Fraser: I first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of my father. . . 

[General Bowman drives up] 

General: Step away from him, Constable. 

Fraser: General, please - 

[Evers runs, Fraser catches him, Ray arrests Bowman] 

Ray: Up against the car. Assume the position. 

Bowman [to Evers]: I know you now. 

Police

Man: Let's go, buddy. 

[Squad room] 

Bowman: What kind of a country is this? The man who killed my daughter goes free - 

Ray: Don't worry. Nobody's going free. Just have a seat there. 

Boman: I want to call the Consulate. 
 

Ray: No problem. You just take a seat there. I'll be right back, okay? 

[Observation room] 

Ray: So? 

Huey: He admits he was shacking up with the Bowman woman. But he's got an alibi for the night of the murder. 

Ray: Oh, yeah? Tight? 

Huey: It's pretty tight. 

Ray: How tight? 

Huey: On the night of the murder he was addressing 2,000 members of the Chicago Booksellers Association at the Plaza Hotel. 

Ray: That's tight. 

Huey: Tell you one thing. He's more afraid of his wife than he is of us. 

[Thatcher's office] 

Thatcher: They've arrested him? 

Fraser: He is being detained. 

Thatcher: We could have an international incident on our hands. . . [rushes out, closing door in Fraser's face] 

Fraser: Sir, sir, sir? 

[Get into taxi] 

Thatcher: It would be embarrassing to have to trade for General Bowman like the Americans did for Frances Gary Powers. 

Fraser: Or the Toronto Maple Leafs did for Dougie Gilmour. 

Driver: Careful of the far side. 

Thatcher: Oooh!! It's wet! 

Driver: I was carrying ice. 

Thatcher [moves closer to Fraser]: Excuse me, Fraser. I'm wet. 

Fraser: That's perfectly all right, sir. 

Thatcher: Fraser - 

Fraser: Yes, sir? 

Thatcher: Fraser - 

Fraser: Sir? 

Thatcher: Don't say sir every time I say Fraser, Fraser! Just let my thoughts reveal themselves. First of all, I want to apologize for my behavior in front of General Bowman. 

Fraser: Oh, no apology's necessary, sir. 

Thatcher: Please. I'm afraid that I appeared less than managerial. 

Fraser: Not at all. 

Thatcher: I just wanted to thank you for intervening. 

Fraser: Yes, sir. 

Thatcher: Not that you needed to intervene. 

Fraser: No, no. Of course not. 

Thatcher: The thing is, I've been a little preoccupied lately. 

Fraser: Ah. I hadn't noticed. 

Thatcher: Well, I have. You know I went to my friend Nancy's baby shower just now. 

Fraser: Um-hm. 

Thatcher: Thank you, by the way, for your advice on the gift. You were absolutely right. 

Fraser: Oh. I'm glad. 

Thatcher: You're a surprisingly sensitive man for all your physical strength and courage. 

Fraser: Please, sir. 

Thatcher: I've been thinking lately about having a child. 

Fraser: Really? Well, ah, I think you would make a Cracker Jack mother. 

Thatcher: Thank you, Fraser. It's an enormous undertaking. And you know me. I mean, I wouldn't even know how to start. That's where you come in. . . Is your seat wet too? 

Fraser: No, sir. 

Thatcher: Anyway, I was thinking, with all your experience in the field, that you might be the kind of man who would know a thing or two about this sort of business. I was hoping to involve you in the process. 

Fraser: In the process. 

Thatcher: We'd have to be discrete, and naturally I'd want to get the whole thing over with as quickly as possible. 

Fraser: Naturally. 

Thatcher: So I can count on you then to be up for this? 

Fraser: Oh, ahhh, look, look where we are. Good old police station. 

[A baby is being admired by several officers just inside] 

Thatcher: Fraser, look, isn't that sweet? 

Fraser: Yes, ahh, I'm, uh, ver- 

Ray: Fraser. 

Fraser: Ray, where's the general? 

Ray: With the lieutenant. 

Thatcher: Detective? 

Ray: With the lieutenant. 

Thatcher: Fraser. 

Ray [notices her wet clothing as she walks away]: Wh- what? 

Fraser: Oh, uh, she was sitting on ice. 

Ray: That's cold. 

Fraser: Well, yes. But it melted. 

Ray: Look, uh, I got Evers in interview one. Did you know his wife was Audry Binghamton? She's got all the money. She's one of the Chicago Blue Blood families. No wonder he's so worried about her finding out about this little chippie. One false move, he's out on the street without a dime. 

Fraser: That's good work, Ray. 

Ray: Thank you. 

[Welsh's office] 

General: Whose side are you on anyway? I thought you were here to protect my interests. 

Welsh: General, Mr. Evers is an American citizen. As such we deem him to be innocent until proven guilty of any crime. 

General: He killed my daughter. 

Welsh: We have no evidence to that at this time. If and when we obtain such evidence, he'll be off the street faster than a dropped wallet. I give you my word. 

General: And in the meantime? 

Thatcher: You could be deported, you could be held here at the police station, or you can be released into the custody of the Canadian Consulate. 

General: I have committed no crime. 

Welsh: Well there could be a number of gun-related charges, General. And contrary to popular belief, we take that pretty seriously around here. We wouldn't want another War of 1812 on our hands, would we? 

General: I don't blame you. You lost that war. 

Welsh: The War of 1812? No we didn't. 

General: Does the name Queenston Heights ring a bell with you? We cleaned your clocks. 

Welsh: Inspector, would you get the General out of my office, please? To jail, the Consulate, anywhere. 

Thatcher: We can make you comfortable at the Consulate, sir. 

Welsh: Good. 

Thatcher: General, not a good idea to mention 1812, sir. The Americans hate it when they lose a war. 

[Squad room; Fraser on phone] 

Fraser: Yes, thank you kindly. . . [to Ray] That was the Balentine Hotel in Buffalo. They will be faxing over a copy of Chad Percy's hotel bill for the night of Sonny's murder. 

Ray: Okay, this is stupid. We got two murders, two suspects, two motives up the yin-yang, and we got two airtight alibis on the nights of the murders in question. 

Francesca: Hey, Ray. . .? 

Ray: Look, we're working here, Francesca, and my super-id is completely groovy. If I ever start to drool, you'll be the first one I call, okay? 

Francesca: Fraser? 

Fraser: Um-hm? 

Francesca: Would you agree that our air conditioning causes us to see things in certain ways? 

Fraser: Air conditioning? Perhaps you mean simply conditioning. No, the school of behavior. . . [a page in her book catches his eye]. . . Excuse me. . . 

Ray: What? 

Fraser: I just had an epiphany. Chad Maxwell did not kill Sonny Dunlap. 

Ray: What? We know that cause he wasn't even in Chicago at the time. What kind of epiphany is that? 

Fraser: It's an excellent epiphany. He was in Buffalo, which is less than a two-hour's drive from Toronto, where Miss Bowman was murdered. I think they traded victims. 

[Hallway] 

Welsh: Oh, mother of God. You want to spell this out for me? 

Ray: Evers did not kill Miss Bowman. He killed Sonny Dunlap. 

Fraser: Chad Percy killed Miss Bowman. 

Ray: They switched. 

Fraser: You see, both men had someone they wanted dead. Chad Percy because Sonny was blackmailing him and threatening to expose him - 

Ray: And Miss Bowman was threatening to tell Evers' wife about their affair, thereby throwing him off the old gravy train - 

Fraser: And they both knew they would be prime suspects in any investigation of the murders, so they arranged to provide one another with ironclad alibis. 

Welsh: So Chad Percy was in Canada when Sonny was killed here in Chicago. 

Fraser: That's right, and Nick Evers was in Chicago when Miss Bowman was killed in Toronto. 

Welsh: Now wait a minute, wait a minute. Is there any proof of this? 

Ray: Uh, we knew you would ask that. 

Fraser: It's a working hypothesis. 

Welsh: Is there a shred of evidence that they even knew each other? 

Fraser: No, I'm afraid not. 

Welsh: Umm. Well, I suggest you find that shred. If you'll excuse me now, I'm going to get my super-ego in touch with my id. 

[Squad room; Huey hands keys to Fraser] 

Huey: It's parked out back. The black one. 

Ray: Fraser, we're not having any luck with the phone tap, so we're going to give them a jolt. We dug up the connection. Part of Percy's sentencing on the assault charge was going to these anger management seminars. We showed Evers' picture around and came up with a positive ID. 

Welsh: All right, are we ready to make the call? 

Francesca: Yeah. 

Evers: Hello? 

Francesca: Hello? Mr. Evers? 

Evers: Speaking. 

Francesca: Hi. This is the Chicago Police Department calling. Lieutenant Welsh would like to know if you could come in and speak to a couple of our officers regarding the Sonny Dunlap case? 

Evers: Dunlap? I don't know, I. . . There must be some mistake. You must mean the Chantal Bowman case. 

Francesca: Oh, yeah, sorry. I must have mixed them up. You know how it is, drowning in paperwork and everything. I was just wondering, when could you come in? 

Evers: Look, I've got another call. I'm alone in the office. I'll call you back. 

[Evers places another call] 

Percy: Yeah? 

Evers: They know. 

[Evers in car; makes a call] 

Percy: Yeah? 

Evers: Don't hang up. This is a new phone. 

Percy: You stupid bastard. 

Evers [checks rear-view mirror]: He's following me. 

Percy: Who? The cops? 

Evers: No. Her father. He's going to kill me, I know it. 

Percy: Okay. . . You know the Douglas overpass just before the river? Lead him there. Take your time. I'll need 20 minutes. 

[General Bowman loads rifle, listening to police-band radio] 

Ray's voice: He's heading west on Roosevelt. I'm right behind him, heading for the river. 

[Confrontation under overpass; Ray appears just in time] 

Ray: Drop it! 

Fraser: Nice work, Ray. What took you so long? 

Ray: I got a little lost in the long grass there. 

Percy: What's going on here? 

Ray: I thought you and your pal could tell us. 

Percy: Pal? I've never seen this guy before in my life. 

Ray: Oh, so? What, you just go around trying to shoot perfect strangers? 

Fraser: You knew one another, didn't you, Mr. Evers? 

Evers: You're damn right we know each other! And it was his idea! 

Fraser: Down! 

General: I have no quarrel with either of you. You can stand aside and I'll take them from here. 

Fraser: General - 

Bowman: Stand aside or I will kill all four of you. 

Evers: I- I didn't kill your daughter. 

Bowman: Yes you did. You both did. And you can both answer for it. 

Fraser: General, you've spent your entire life fighting to bring peace to people in the world. Do you want that struggle to end here? 

Bowman: They don't deserve to live. 

Fraser: That's not our decision to make. 

Bowman: I am a soldier. 

Fraser: And a Canadian. And as such I know you believe in the rule of law, not in vigilante action. We have to leave this to justice, sir. 

Bowman [to Percy]: Say it. . . say it! 

Percy: I did it. 

Bowman: Did what? 

Percy: I killed your daughter. 

[Fraser Sr.'s office] 

Fraser Sr.: This was your baby bag. It was good for 40 below. Of course, a little 60 below never hurt anybody unless they were wearing Bermudas. Well, he can't be reared in this jungle. You'll have to move north. 

Fraser: You're a little ahead of yourself, don't you think? 

Fraser Sr.: You can run but you can't hide, son. 

Fraser: What are you talking about? 

Fraser Sr.: Grandchildren. 

Fraser: Grandchildren. . . Dad, you cannot have grandchildren. You are dead. 

Fraser Sr.: So you keep telling me, with overmuch glee, I might add. 

Fraser: Oh, for God's sake. . . 

Fraser Sr.: Oh, come on, son. Is it going to kill you to giver her a leg over? 

Fraser: A leg over?. . . Dad, I really don't have time for this. 

Fraser Sr.: That's what I said. Look what it got me. 

Fraser: Well, that's a different story. There you are. . . Leg over. Foot down. Thigh up. 

[End music comes up, then:] 

Fraser Sr.: It's not over yet, son. 

[Outside Thatcher's office; Dief growls; Fraser holds flowers, knocks] 

Thatcher: Come in. . . Yes, Constable. . . What is it, Fraser? 

Fraser: Well, sir, I have given considerable thought to your proposal, and I, uh, I mean, I have nothing against, uh, well, I have nothing against you know. It's just that I am not by nature impulsive. Although I have been known, you know, to really let my, to let my hair. . . Although that's not, strictly speaking, true. I've never even let my hair grow - 

Thatcher: Is there a point to this Constable? 

Fraser: Yes, sir. The point is that I just think that things like this should be done incrementally. Perhaps we could start with conversation, and, uh - although, well, you and I have talked so I suppose we could bypass that. We'll just move to the next increment. Dancing, possibly. Oh, not now. Not now, of course, because there is no music, although, you know, my parents used to dance without music all the time. I recall a time in my childhood when - 

Thatcher: Fraser? 

Fraser: Sir? 

Thatcher: You didn't think that I. . .? 

Fraser: I don't think that you. . .? 

Thatcher: Well, when I asked that you be part of the process, you didn't think that I was suggesting. . .? 

Fraser: That you were suggesting. . .? 

Thatcher: Well, that you. . .? 

Fraser: That I. . .? 

Thatcher: Because that would be. . . 

Fraser: No, no, no, I mean, that would be. . . 

Thatcher: I meant adoption, Fraser. 

Fraser: Sir, may I. . .? 

Thatcher: May you what? 

Fraser: Be dismissed? 

Thatcher: If you wish. 

Fraser: Oh, uh, I found these. 

End

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