| Body Language
Summary from official site, www.duesouth.com via Wayback Machine Fraser's daring rescue of a stuffed rabbit leads our heroes into the crossfire between rival mobsters battling for control of Chicago's strip joints. They befriend an exotic dancer who provides them with tips she gathers in a most unusual way. When the dancer is kidnapped, Fraser and Ray must not only find a way to rescue her, but also race to a crowded gathering in time to prevent the sabotage and bloodshed. Chasing a cab through the streets of Chicago, Fraser returns the stuffed bunny which an attractive young woman inadvertently dropped on the sidewalk. Believing her bunny is a powerful good luck charm, and sizing Fraser up as a trustworthy man, the woman (Ida Banks) tells him of a crime scheduled to happen later that night. When her tip turns out to be accurate, Ray enlists Fraser's help to track down this mysterious woman. Clues lead them to conclude that the woman must be an exotic dancer, which sends them on a search through Chicago's strip clubs. When they finally locate her at the Mount Olympus club, they find themselves witness to an act of sabotage -- dozens of rats sent scampering through the club, which send the dancers and customers racing to the exits. A frightened Ida invites Fraser and Ray back to her apartment. When Ida's jealous, ex-boxer boyfriend -- Barry Pappas -- comes home, Fraser and Ray retreat into Ida's closet where they overhear Barry talking in his sleep about the next hit at a warehouse. This gives Ray another bust. Mark Ordover, Barry's ruthless mob boss, suspects Barry may be responsible for the information leaks. In an effort to prove his loyalty, Barry agrees to kill the rival club owner, Shelly Litvak. But when Ida hears Barry sleep talking, threatening to kill someone, she decides to leave him. Fraser and Ray play matchmakers and try to get Barry and Ida back together in the hope that Barry's love for Ida is strong enough to stop him from killing. Fraser convinces Barry that if he does not kill, Ida will take him back. However, Mark Ordover has other plans. He wants to make sure that Barry will do his dirty work and kidnaps Ida, forcing her to tell Barry she has left him to work for Litvak. It's up to Fraser and Ray to rescue Ida and stop Barry from committing a murder. Fraser helps unlock the secret to the identities of the powers behind the war by the scent of barbecue sauce on the breath of the rats which were released in Mt. Olympus. With Diefenbaker's help, he tastes ribs from every rib joint in town until he finds the exact source. This lead only takes them so far, however, as they're also kidnapped by Ordover's thugs and held to keep them from interfering with Ordover's murderous plan. It takes a clever and dangerous escape to free themselves from their bonds and send them racing to stop the carnage. Written by James Kramer
Regular Cast
Guest Stars
MARK - James Gallanders
COP #1 - Colin McClean
Unofficial Transcript Body Language Vecchio: Haven't won a hand at cards in two weeks, my love life's in the toilet and I can't buy a decent bust. Fraser: How is it new sunglasses will chance your luck Ray? Vecchio: Well all I can do is guess the old ones had some mojo because since I lost them it's been downhill. [puts on a pair of glasses] What do you thing? These look lucky to you? Fraser: Oh, very lucky. Would you excuse me for a second Ray. [sees a woman get in a cab, but she dropped her stuffed rabbit toy] Excuse me -- ma'am -- taxi! Vecchio: Where you going? Fraser: She dropped her rabbit. [runs after taxi] Vecchio: So? Fraser: pushing through crowd] Excuse me. Ah, excuse me. Fine automobile. Vecchio [to clerk]: For five bucks they gotta be worth a try, huh?
Fraser: Pardon me [through construction] Worker: What? Oh come on! Fraser: Sorry about that. Ida: Bunny! Oh, did you run all this way just to give it back? Fraser: Yes ma'am. And you know, for future reference you may want to fasten your hand bag more securely. Ida: Wow. That's so nice! Fraser: Are you alright ma'am. Ida [near tears]: mmmhmmm. Fraser: Very good. Ida: No. I mean maybe. I mean do you think this could be a sign? Fraser: A sign of what? Ida: Well bunny is my good luck charm, you know and oh a lot of people think I', weird cause I have a good luck charm. Fraser: Well you're not alone. Ida [to car behind her cab]: Hey, keep your pants on you jerk! [then to Fraser] You're some kind of cop aren't you? I think bunny must have brought you to me for a reason. Cabby: Lady! Ida: Look tonight. Come here. Two o'clock at a liquor place, Konerko. Just don't tell anybody I told you, okay? Fraser: I don't even know who you are. Ida: Yeah, I know.
Ida: You can go now. Vecchio: What was that all about? Fraser: I really don't know Ray. Vecchio: Well I really gotta tell you, these shades aren't the answer. 10 seconds after I put em on, I got hit by a bicycle messenger-- Fraser: Don't throw them out. They may have brought you something interesting after all. [stake out. fence being cut, guy goes through hole he made. pulls out arson device] Cop: Freeze, police. Vecchio: Come on, move. Get in there. Nice tip Benny. Who'd the lady say she was? Fraser: She didn't but I think I know where to look. [restaurant] Waitress: I'm sorry boys. I don't remember. Vecchio: How could you not remember? Fraser: She was here yesterday. She's about five three, a blond, she was wearing a green coat. Waitress: A picture. It might help. I'm visually oriented. Vecchio: Yeah, well we didn't think to take her picture. Waitress: Oh I wish I could help. Oh would you boys like a coffee? Vecchio: Yeah, a coffee'd be great. [Fraser is sketching] Waitress: Cream? Vecchio: No. Fraser: Here you go Ray. I'm afraid it's the best I can do. Vecchio: What? Are you kidding me? It's perfect. Fraser: Oh it's not perfect. The angle of the line from the chin to the jaw line-- Vecchio: I said it's perfect. Waitress: Oh yeah, I remember her. mmmm hmmmm. Fraser: Is there anything you can tell us about her? Waitress: Nothing. I never saw her before. Vecchio: Look, did she say anything? Where she was from where she was going. Maybe, you know, maybe hair appointment, grand father, anything? Waitress: No, not a word. Except tuna surprise and tea with lemon. Does that help? Fraser: No. Vecchio: Alright, look, if you see her again, give me a call. Fraser: Thank you kindly. Waitress: Boys, there was something particular about her money. Not like she kept it in her hat like you but here. Here's the tip she left me. I don't know if it means anything or not but um you don't see bills folded like this very often. Fraser: No you don't. Vecchio: Well yeah you do it you know where to look. [first stop] Fraser: You think it's likely she's an entertainer of this type Ray? Vecchio: Yeah. Where else you gonna find dollar bills folded so they'll stay in a g-string. Fraser: Thank you.
Fraser: Not that I recall, no. Vecchio: Why? Don't they have these kinds of places up in the Yukon? Fraser: Oh sure. Sure they do. They're just not that common, that's all. Vecchio: So what you guys do for bachelor parties up there. Fraser: Well the only one I've ever attended Ray, a prize was awarded for the best impression of the mating call of a bull moose. Vecchio: Yeah -- don't tell me, you won. Fraser: Alright. Vecchio: Huh? Fraser: Nothing. [next place] Vecchio: I hope this isn't too embarrassing for you Benny. Fraser: Uh, no it isn't embarrassing in the least Ray. Vecchio: hen how come you're not looking. Fraser: Well I only saw the face of the woman we're tracking and I don't
believe I could recognize her by her other features. I'm sorry we're not
being more successful Ray. I may have to pick up with you again tomorrow.
I have night duty at the Consulate in an hour.
Vecchio: Alright, this is the last one. We're in, look, we're gone, alright. [to the guy at counter] Two. Guy: Twenty. Vecchio: Give me a receipt. Guy: Receipt? Vecchio: That's what I said. A receipt. Ten bucks a pop just to get in the door. No wonder these places make so much money. Guy: Your receipt. Vecchio: Thanks. Guy: Have a good time. Fraser: Thank you kindly. Mr. Ordover: Berry, what are you doing behind the cash? Barry: Hey, Mr. Ordover, how you doing? Well I was just filling in for Julie. You know, the baby's sick. Mr. Ordover: Get someone else to fill in. You're not a bouncer anymore you're management. Barry: You are absolutely right. You're absolutely right Mr. Ordover. That's not gonna happen again. Mr. Ordover: Atta boy.: Any trouble from Litback tonight? Barry: No, not at all. No sir, not a thing. No, everything was beautiful. Hey uh, I heard about the bust last night. Mr. Ordover: I lost a good man on that one. Barry: Yes, Mr. Ordover. If there's anything-- Mr. Ordover: Thanks Barr. I got a lot of ground to cover on that. Barry: Anything at all? Mr. Ordover: Hey, keep up the good work, huh? Fraser: She's not here Ray. Vecchio: Alright, I'll get you back to work then keep looking myself. Dancer: Ordoveroo, nice uniform soldier. Fraser: Actually I'm not a soldier, I'm a Mountie. Other Dancer: I bet you are. Vecchio: Well Benny, you got to let me borrow that uniform sometime. It's got a lot more juice than these glasses. Announcer: And now gentlemen, the jewel in our crown, the Goddess of Love, Aphrodite's! Vecchio: Hey Benny, isn't that? Fraser: Yes, it is Ray. [meaning the dancer in the shell, Aphrodite's.] Vecchio: Could you talk to her. She didn't see me, she saw you. Come on. Fraser: Ray, I really do have to get going. Perhaps I'll uh...I'll just try and schedule an appointment. Vecchio: No you gotta make contract now. Fraser: Good evening Miss Aphrodite's. I wonder if I could -- Ida: What are you doing here! Fraser: I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine. Ida: No. I shouldn't have said anything to you before. Now just leave me alone, okay? Fraser: She doesn't want to talk to you Ray. Vecchio: Well I don't care she has to. [a scream, lots of rats scurrying around.] Barry: Sorry about this folks. Uh, I'll give you all passes for another night. Everything will be alright. A temporary problem. Vecchio: [about glasses] These things are useless. Get out of here. Benny, You're holding a rat. Fraser: Yes, I'm aware of that Ray. Vecchio: Ugh, now you're kissing it? Fraser: No, I'm smelling her breath actually. [to rat]Run along. There you go Alright off you go. There's nothing to be afraid of. Well that may not be true in the larger scheme of things but at least this ordeal is over. So, Off you go. Toodle loo. [To Ida] Oh hello. Ida: I can't let anyone see me talking to you. Go to my apartment and let yourself in. Here's my spare key and my address. I'll be there in 15 minutes. Take it. Fraser: Very good. [at Ida's on the phone] Fraser: Constable Turnbull? Yes, it's Constable Fraser. Listen, I wonder it you'd be so kind as to stay on duty for approximately 20 minutes until my arrival. No you won't get into trouble. I'm sure the inspector will be -- Turnbull. Turnbull, calm down. Now you are just the messenger, she will not shoot you. Well if she does, I'll admit I was wrong. All right. Thank you kindly. Ida: Hi. Fraser: Hello Ida. Ida: How do you know my name? Vecchio: Saw it on the mailbox. Ida: Oh! Right. Nobody followed you here did they? Fraser: No. Ida: Good. I figured they'd all be preoccupied at the club. I can't believe you tracked me. And who are you guys? Fraser: I'm Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP. Ida: What? Fraser: Uh, Royal Canadian Mounted Police. And this is my friend Dt. Ray Vecchio. Ida: Chicago PD. Oh god. I shouldn't have said anything to you guys yesterday and I have nothing else to say now. So it's really nice to meet you and I hope you have a good night. Vecchio: You know Ida. Ida: Ida. Vecchio: That crime that you tipped us off to? Well that was pretty serious. Ida: Yeah. Vecchio: We just want to know a little more about it. Ida: Like I said, I mean, I can't say anything else. Vecchio: You know as police our job is to help you. Ida: Uh huh. Vecchio: Now if you don't want to help us we're gonna have to slap you with a seopena. Ida: Oh God. I was such an idiot. Fraser: No Ida you're not. You were concerned about something, you acted responsibly. You have a good conscience. Vecchio: She's a stripper! Ida: Dancer. I don't think I like you very much. Vecchio: You don't have to like me. You just have to talk to me. Fraser: You're worried about someone. A man. A man who smokes too much. Ida: How did you know that? Fraser: Well you don't smoke, yet you have ashtrays stationed everywhere in your apartment. He also drinks rather more than you would like. The indentation on the lacquer of this chess suggests there was a decanter on it until recently. Then you became concerned and you removed the liquor so there'd be less temptation, but it didn't work did it? Ida: No. Fraser: You wish he'd stop doing what he's doing and let you take care of him. Ida: Yeah. You got all that by just looking around my apartment? Fraser: Yes. Ida: Wow. Vecchio: Who's the guy? Ida: I'm not talking to you. Vecchio: Ask her who the guy is. Fraser: She's not going to betray him Ray. Vecchio: Tell her she has no choice. Ida: Oh my god. Oh my god. He's here. He's here. Quick, get in the closet. Fraser: Right you are. Vecchio: I am not getting in the closet. Ida: Well he can't find you here. It'll ruin everything. You-- Vecchio: I am not getting in the closet. I'm going to stand right here till he comes upstairs, then we're going to have a little chat. Fraser: Ray, please get in the closet. Vecchio: Benny, get out of the closet. Fraser: Ray, get in the closet. Vecchio: I am not getting in the closet. Fraser: Ray, if you don't get in the closet, you'll loose your source. [Vecchio gets in the closet, Barry comes in, very drunk] Barry: What a night. Can you believe it babe these these rats right in the damn club. Ida: Are you alright? Barry: Yeah. I had to get out of there. I closed the place down and called the exterminator. This is getting serious babe. I need a drink. Ida: Baby, you been drinking all day. Barry: Hey, I don't have enough grief already? You know how I'm gonna get through this baby if you're gonna give it to me too. Ida: Baby you been acting too tense lately. Come on you can talk to me. Barry: You don't understand baby, business is business. You don't need to know. You don't want to know. Vecchio: I want to know. [Barry snoring on couch] Vecchio: He's conked. Let's get out of here. Ida: Are you alright. Fraser: We're fine. Vecchio: No, I'm not alright. Ida: Thank you so much for doing this. Just tip toe out okay? Vecchio: Not until you tell me who that guy is. Ida: That's Barry Pappas my boyfriend although I'm beginning to wonder why. Vecchio: Barry Pappas. Didn't he used to be a fighter? Ida: That's right. Vecchio: I lost money on that guy. Barry: Shut up. Ida: Shh. Barry: I can do it, just give me the chance. Vecchio: Who's he talking to? Ida: Oh, I-I didn't want you to hear this. Barry: Tomorrow I'll fix it for you. Fraser: So this is how you knew about the liquor truck. Ida: Uh huh. Barry: I'll burn it to the ground. Ida: I'm not gonna wake him up and ask him. Vecchio: Alright fine. I will Ida: No. Fraser: You probably won't have to. He's in the fourth stage rem trance enhanced by the effects of alcohol. Ida: So what's that mean? Fraser: It means he's talking in his sleep. Ida: Oh, you could have just said so. Vecchio [ squatting near Barry] Barry. Talk to me. What are you gonna burn? Barry. What you said. Vecchio: What did I say? Barry: Warehouse. Third and Green Midnight. You're gonna let me do it, right? Vecchio: Yeah, we're gonna let you do it, just tell us whose warehouse are you gonna burn. Barry. Barry. Barry. [Barry turns over and hugs Ray around the neck. holding on] Barry: Ah baby, you're the best, you're the best. Ida: Yeah, well Barry's all I got and I'm doing everything I can to keep him out of trouble and now you want to put him in jail and I'm not gonna have anybody. Vecchio: Will you shut up and get me out of this? Fraser: Ma'am, do you think you could? Ida: Not till he apologizes. Vecchio: I'm not apologizing to her. Fraser: Ray. Barry: Come here baby. Vecchio: Okay, okay. I'm sorry alright. I'm sorry. Ida: Fine. Come on baby. Come on baby. There you go. [eases Barry off of Ray] Fraser: Thank you kindly. Fraser: Alright. Make sure you call me. Fraser: You know Ida, I think there is a good man waiting for you somewhere. One more worthy of your affection. Possibly one who can stay awake. Barry: Shut up. Fraser: Sorry. Goodnight. Ida: Goodnight. [Consulate] Fraser: Constable Turnbull? I uh- Thatcher: I sent hem home Constable. Over two hours ago. Would you care to tell me where you've been? Fraser: Well I-I've been in a closet ma'am. Thatcher: Any particular closet? Fraser: An exotic dancers closet. Thatcher: Well that's your business of course. Fraser: Well I don't think you understand ma'am. I was in the closet with Dt. Vecchio. Thatcher: I think that is all I care to hear about it, Constable. Perhaps you'll take the assignment I'm about to give you as an opportunity to reflect on the importance of punctuality. [guard duty with the pigeons] [27th precinct] Elaine: This is everything I could find on Mt. Olympus, Ray. There's been some disturbances there recently with their plumbing and electricity and then the rats last night. But they haven't filed any complaints. Vecchio: Thanks Elaine. Huey: You got a lawyer or not. What's the deal? Welsh: Huey, nice work on that B&E. it's got to be at least a seven. Huey: Thank you Lt. Vecchio: A seven for a B&E? you gotta be kidding. That can't be worth more than a four. Huey: mmmm, four for the bust, three for artistic interpretation. Vecchio: Yeah, give me a break. Welsh: Vecchio. Elaine: Ray. [points to his sunglasses, he removes em and goes into Welsh's office] Welsh: Close the door, Vecchio. What is this? Vecchio: Expense report, sir. Welsh: Two hundred and twenty dollars for strip clubs? Vecchio: Had to go to a lot of them sir. Welsh: Here I'm thinking you're out chasing a bomber and you're going to strip joints. Vecchio, you are in no position to yank my chain. Vecchio: With all due respect sir, I wouldn't call a shot at taking down Mark Ordover yanking your chain. Welsh: Mark Ordover? My-colleges-in-the-14th-would-love-to-take-him-down, Mark Ordover? Vecchio: None other sir. He's the bankroll behind the Mt. Olympus Club and I have reason to believe he's the man who ordered the bombing. Welsh: What have you got on him. Vecchio: We spoke to one of his people, they're gonna be burning down a wherehouse. Welsh: He told you that? Vecchio: I heard it right from his lips. Welsh: Alright detective. You've got a full team at the wearhouse. Vecchio: Thank you sir. Welsh: Vecchio. Vecchio: Sir. Welsh: Stopping a possible mob war, that'll be a ten. Vecchio: A ten sir? [leaves smiling and puts glasses back on] [bull pin] Huey: Why stop it? Vecchio: Stop what?
[in front of consulate] Ida: Hey. Hey. It's me, Ida Banks from last night. Oh! Hello? I get it, you can't move, right? Or talk or nothing huh? Maybe that ain't so bad. A guy that doesn't talk back. Anyway, I been thinking about what you said about how there's a good man out there for me. And then it hit me. You were talking about you. See the thing is Barry he used to be the sweetest guy. I mean when he was a bouncer he was so shy he could hardly even watch me dance and I liked that you know? But the last couple months ever since he got this job and he's been promoted asistant manager, he's been acting so different and stressy and drinking and talking in his sleep and telling me to shut up all the time and [she's running her hands over him] I just want a guy who's gonna treat me nice, you know, you really are a gentleman. If you want to ask me out I just might say yes. I mean that is if Barry doesn't clean up his act I mean. Anyway, I got to get going. See you around, Mr. Mountie. [Ida leaves and you see Thatcher glaring] [wearhouse] Vecchio: Here they come. Hold your positions. Fraser: You have any luck finding out who owns this place? Vecchio: Yeah, it's a dummy corporation. Which usually means mob money. I've got Elaine working on it right now. These things are pretty tough to crack. Huey: We've got enough gas to burn down the whole block. Vecchio: Let's get em.
[Huey gets shot in the right shoulder. They gather the bombers together] Vecchio: You okay? Huey: Yeah. He just winged me I guess. Vecchio: Sorry Jack, maybe you were right. We should have let them take each other out. [kids and a mom crawl out from under the building] Mom: Don't shoot, we didn't do anything. Huey [realizing that the family would have died if they hadn't stopped the arsons]: Maybe not. [club] Ordover: Unbelieveable. Barry: What? Ordover: The police were at the wearhouse. Waiting for my guys. Barry: Again? That's two times in a row. Ordover: Well somebody must be talking. Barry: No, not me. Ordover: If I find the leak it is not gonna be pretty. Barry: Mr. Ordover, if there's anything I can do. Anythng. Ordover: There might be. [Huey is being loaded into an ambulance. Ray and Fraser are walking away from it] Vecchio: So what do you feel like Benny? Chinese? Italian? BBQ? It's your call. Fraser: BBQ Vecchio: Alright, I know a great place for ribs. Fraser: No-no, Ray. The rat I examined. Her breath? It had the scent of BBQ sauce and BBQ ribs on it. Now it was particially digested of course, which is why it took me so long to place it. Vecchio: So what does that mean? Fraser: Well, Mt. Olympus doesn't offer ribs on his menu. So that probably isn't where the rat got the food. Vecchio: So the rats were imported. Fraser: Well possibly, so if we can locate the soarce of the sauce, we may be able to find the sabitour who released the rats in Mt. Olympus. Vecchio: Okay, let's recap. I got a guy who talks in his sleep and a stripper who's ripping you clothes off. Fraser: No, I didn't say she was trying to rip my clothes off. I merely said she slipped her hand...it's not important. [phone rings] Vecchio: Vecchio. Ida: Detective? It's Ida. Barry talked in his sleep again. It's bad this time. he's gonna kill someone. [Mt. Olympus club, Ida is packing her stuff. Ray is sitting, holding something skimpy] Ida: Ya dance cause you love it then you dance to make money and I don't mind taking my clothes off part so much - I really don't. I mean there's a saying that says that clothes were dishonest anyway and then you meet a guy you think that he's the sweetest person in the whole world and he ends up a killer. Excuse me. [takes the skimpy thing from Ray] Vecchio: Ida, can we focus here? Ida: Yeah, yeah, okay, I'm focused. I'm really focused. [to Fraser] Can you get that Teddy please? Fraser: Okay, who was it Barry said he was gonna kill. Ida: Like he's gonna tell me. Okay, I'm gonna be better off without him. Vecchio: No, you can't leave him. Fraser: Ray, she has to do what she thinks is right. Vecchio: Benny, you want to work with me here? Look Ida, you said you love him, right? Ida: Yeah, I did. Vecchio: Alright now Barry, he's been under a lot of pressure lately and he's not at his best. Ida: You're just saying that because you want me to keep telling you what he says in his sleep. Vecchio: If that's what it takes to prevent a murder? Yes. Fraser: Ida, can you think of anyone who'd want to hurt Barry? Ida: Someone wants to hurt Barry? Vecchio: Ida, he's into some very serious stuff here. Ida: Yeah, well you talk to him because he won't listen to me anymore anyway. Fraser: Ma'am, your teddy. Ida: You know I'm still available that is if you still wanna, go out with me sometime. Fraser: Ida, I-I hoe I didn't mislead you in anyway um- Ida: No-no-no. the invitation it's uh, still good. That is if you're a decent guy and not a crumb like Barry. Fraser: Thank you. Ida: Yes. Bunny and I have to go. Fraser: Well uh, goodnight. Ida: Goodnight. [27th, Elaine is delivering food to Ray's desk] Elaine: Little Tonies, Rib Pit, The Rib Shack, Ribs-o-rama and Tickle my Ribs. I think you have all the ribs on the south side. Do you mind if I ask what's going on? Vecchio: We're tasting them. Elaine: I can see that. I meant, why. Vecchio: You don't want to know. Elaine: Try me. Vecchio: Alright. Rat breath. [whine from Dief] Elaine: Ugh. Vecchio [very smug]: I told you you don't want to know. Fraser: Ah, ah, ah, ah, don't wolf it down. You're suppose to taste it. Now remember, we're looking for a combination of jalipeno peppers and raw comb honey in a wonderful ratio. Vecchio: You know Fraser, we been at this all morning. Do you mind if we move on? Fraser: Well you could help me. Vecchio: I don't think so. Alright, I'm gonna go shake Barry's peaches. Fraser: Well he hasn't done anything Ray. And if we can find the right sauce we'll have found a piece of the larger picture. Vecchio: You want to know what the larger picture is? Me without a source. Now I got to catch something for my troubles even if it is a minnow like Barry. [Dief sniffing one from Kit Kat Corral, whines, picks up a rib] Fraser: Wait a minute. [he takes it from Dief and licks it.] Vecchio: Oh that's disgusting. Fraser: This is it. Vecchio: The Kit Kat Corral? This ain't no minnow. [he has his glasses on] [Kit Kat Corral] Litback: Well howdy partners. Fraser: Howdy. Fraser: Yeah howdy to you to partner. We're looking for Litback. Litback: Well you moseyed into the right saloon, buckaroos.. I'm Litback. What's on your mind? Fraser: Tomatoes, vinegar, sugar, both brown and white, mustard, worstishire sauce and jalapeno peppers with raw comb honey in a wonderful combination. Litback: You gonna bust me for my mothers rib recipe? Is that what you're gonna do? Vecchio: No, how about 50 rats chasing away the customers of Mt. Olympus. Litback: Hey pal, don't blame me. Maybe those rats were just looking for their own kind. Vecchio: Yeah and maybe you're not up to the competition. Litback: Mark Ordover? Compition hell. You must be kidding. Girls walking by: Howdy Shelly. Litback: Howdy girls. See that? That's the real reason I love this business. Fraser: Mr. Litback, I'd like to take a look in your kitchen if you don't mind. Litback: What for? Vecchio: Evidence linking you to the rats. Litback: Hey kid, you don't seriously think I could go down for rat food do you? Vecchio: No, but he does and that's all that counts. Litback: All that counts. What the hell do you mean by that? Vecchio: We want you to call a truss with Ordover. Litback: Truss? You must be kidding, he'd only break it. That punks got the ethics of a rattle snake. Vecchio: Yeah, well, when he breaks it, give me a call. Cause if you can get me something on Ordovero, maybe nobody needs to know about the rats. Litback: Fair enough partner. Now why don't you get along little doggy, I have 75 candles to blow out tonight. Gotta conserve my breath. Vecchio: Happy trails to you partner. Litback: Nelson. Nelson: Yes Mr. Litback. Litback: I like that Mountie look, but I can do without those two guys, Frick and Frack. Make sure that I don't' see them anymore. Understand me? Fraser: This is the sauce. Ida? Is that you? Ida: Go away [she's crying] Fraser: What are you doing here? Ida: Making a living. They gave me a job. But I miss Barry. Vecchio: Great! Well, not that you miss Barry. That uh maybe it's time to reconciliation. Ida: I'm not going to get back together with Barry so I can rat on him. Vecchio: Not so you can just rat on him. Ida: Don't you get it? I just want my old Barry back. Vecchio: Well if we don't find out who Barry's gonna kill- Fraser: Ray. May I have a word with you? Excuse us. Vecchio: Better talk to Welsh. Put a 24 hour tail on this guy. Fraser: I think I'd like to try something else. [boxing club] Fraser: Excuse me. Barry: This a private club pal. Fraser: Well actually I came to see you. Barry: Me? I know you? Fraser: No, but I know you. Barry: That's a good one. I ain't heard that in a long time. that's what guys used to say when they wanted me to throw a fight. Fraser: But you never did, did you? Barry: No. No but I might as well have. Hey listen here Red, if you're gonna stand there and talk you might as well come over here and hold the bag so I don't cool down. Fraser: Alright. You know I stopped at the library on the way over. Looked up some old articles on your career. It was very promising for awhile. Barry: Yeah, you win some you lose some, huh? Fraser: In the end it seems you lost more than you won. Barry: I fought my heart out every time. Fraser: You know my fired Ray describes one of your fights. Bet a substantial amount of money on you. Barry: Wants his money back, tell him to forget it. Fraser: No it's not about the money. What he describes is the third round. You'd hit your opponent with three solid hooks. His legs were rubbery he was about to go down all you needed was one more punch., yet you didn't have the heart to throw that punch. Your opponent recovered, he knocks you out in the fourth. Barry: Well I had to do it all over again, I'd throw the stupid punch. Fraser: According to your records you never did. And that's why people started calling you a loser. Barry: Listen, I'm not a loser. Fraser: No I know you're not. I know that. Particularly not to people who matter. Barry: What's your point. Get to your point. Fraser: I'm a friend of Ida's. we'll be at the 12 Street Grill at 7 o'clock. If you'd care to join us. [on street, Ordover pulls up beside Barry] Ordover: Hey Barry. You wanted to see me? Barry: Yeah, Mr. Ordover, I'll tell ya, I've been having second thoughts. Ordover: Really. Barry: Yeah, it's just that I've got stuff to straighten out with Ida. Ordover: Wait a second, I thought that was over. I thought your mind was on the business at hand. Barry: Well it is. It is. Believe me. Ordover: What's important to you. I mean, do you want to move up in the world? or do you like the view from the bottom. Barry: I want to be someone. Ordover: Then think about what's best for Barry right now. Barry: Yeah but Ida - she's - Ordover: No. no. Barry. You're not listening. Think about it. [rolls up his window and then to Leo] I got a job for you Leo. [12 Street Grill] Vecchio [on phone]: Yeah, thanks Elaine. Great work. Hey, Benny, so you're right about Litback. He's the money behind the warehouse and that liquor dump. Fraser: Well that's good. I thought you'd be here with Ida. Vecchio: Aw, she'll be here. She just stopped home to change. How bout Barry. He gonna come? Fraser: Well I guess we'll know when he gets here. Vecchio: Do you think you could be a little more non committal? Fraser: Well I didn't put a gun to his head. Vecchio: You know Benny you need a good luck charm. Something that'll give you a little more optimism. Fraser: I happen to think I'm very optimistic, Ray. Vecchio: Alright. Then tell me that Barry's going to show. That you can feel it in your gut. Fraser: Well I can't empirically. I don't know. Weather he's gonna show. Vecchio: See? No optimist. Fraser: Alright [to waitress] excuse me, we'll have four menu's please. Satisfied? Vecchio: Yeah, it's a start. Fraser: Thank you kindly. [Ida is grabbed by Leo at her apartment] Vecchio: She gets back to her apartment, goes to the john, that's two minutes. Fraser: She applies her makeup that's an additional 10 minutes. Vecchio: Changes her clothes. 5 or 6 more. Fraser: Something's wrong. [Barry's place, the phone rings] Barry: Pappas. Ida: It's Ida. Barry: Hey baby, I was just thinking about you. Ida: Well don't. Barry: Don't what? Ida: Think about me. I'm not gonna be meeting you at the diner Barry, so don't bother showing up. Barry: What? What do you mean? Ida: Mr. Litback offered me twice as much money to dance than you ever did. He's a really nice guy and he told me he was gonna introduce me to all kinds of guys who are really good looking, so successful and I'm sorry Barry but I officially don't want to see you anymore. Barry: Wait a second, Ida, you're talking crazy. I love you. Ida: I gotta go. Ordover: So what is it Barry? Barry: She dumped me. She's working for Litback. Ordover: Women. They'll do this to you everytime. Barry: No, no, not Ida. Ordover: They see a greener pasture, they're gone. It's tuff to know who your friends are sometimes. Barry: Litback that son of a bitch. I'll show him. Mr. Ordover, you - you didn't get anybody else to do the job did you? Ordover: Barry, look, forget about it. I know you're not feeling sure on this one. Barry: I'll do it. When do you want me to do it. [Ray and Fraser knock at Ida's door, Ray has his glasses on. Fraser finds Bunny, the toy on the floor outside of apartment, Ray pulls his gun and kicks door open. They go in, a noise from behind and Leo and gun are there] Fraser: They came out of the closet Ray. [apartment. Ida, Ray and Fraser are tied to chairs. Ida is mumbling. Fraser is also mumbling and tipping his head toward Ray's glasses laying on the floor. Ray nods] Fraser: mmm-one Vecchio: mm-wooo Fraser: mm-eee! [and tips his chair over onto the glasses. As he uses the glasses to untie his hands, you have to see it, really, he is mumbling an Inuit story about his uncle] [Kit Kat Club] Bouncer at the door: Private party folks. Barry [to guy in alley]: Hey brother, your lights are on. [Guy looks, Barry hits him and takes his invitation] [Ida's] Fraser: [mumbles and then, getting gag from his mouth] so although Uncle Pervice did instruct me in the essence of escape maneuvers, I was never quite able to manage the art of dislocating my joints. Although they say that skill is actually heredity, so I'm sorry about your sunglasses, Ray. Vecchio: At least they were good for something. Ida: Those guys made me say terrible things to Barry. Vecchio: Like what? Ida: Like I had to leave him for Shelly Litback. Fraser: That's an interesting plan. I suggest we move quickly. [Kit Kat Club] Bouncer: Invitations please. Vecchio: This is my invitation, pal. Bouncer [not impressed with his badge]: Unless you have a warrant to go with that, I'm afraid you're out of luck. Vecchio: I'm afraid your boss is in serious danger. Bouncer: I find that hard to believe. Vecchio [ to Fraser as they walk away]: What are we gonna do now? Fraser: Well, I'm sure it's not an insolvable problem, Ray. Vecchio: What are you gonna do? Ask somebody for their invitation? Fraser: That's a good idea. Excuse me, I have reason to blieve that the life of someone in that club is in danger. I was wondering if I could use your invitation to gain entrance. [guy hands it to him] Thank you kindly. Vecchio: Hi, excuse me,there's somebody in there who's in danger. You think I could - pardon me, there's a man - [in the club] Dancer: Ladies and gentlemen, how about a great big happy birthday to the kindest, the handsomest, the most honest man you'd ever want to meet. The king of the Kit Kat Corral, Mr. Shelly 'Ride em Cowboy' Litback. Litback: Thank you, thank you folks and thank you honey. You said it just the way I wrote it. [Everyone sings happy birthday and out of the large cake pops out a girl in a 'mountie' uniform.] Litback: Now that's how a Mountie should look. [two more cakes open, two more 'mounties' and so on till the stage is full of em. Fraser is in club, spots Barry with a gun and stands in front of Litback] Fraser: Don't do this Barry. Barry: You ruined my life, Red. He took my Ida. Fraser: It was Ordover who had Ida kidnapped.
Litback: yeah. Fraser: He forced her to make that call. Litback: He's right. Fraser: He knew you'd be so angry you'd try to kill Litback for stealing your girl. Litback: Right again. Barry: Then where's Ida? [she pops out of a cake] Ida! Ida: It's true. Everything he says is true. Barry: Ida, you still love me? Ida: Yes. With very few conditions. One of them is you put down the gun, Barry. Vecchio: The other? You give us everything you have on Mark Ordover. Barry: Ida. Ida: Barry [they hug] My Barry. Crowd: Awwwwwww. Litback: Alright folks, so much for the showdown, let's start the hoedown. [The mounties on stage start undoing the jackets, the crowd goes wild. Gets to Fraser, he gets that look of his and dashes off the stage] [outside club] Vecchio: You know Benny, those glasses were driving me crazy. I think I'm done with this superstition thing. No more lucky pennies, no more majic pencils, no more chanting. Fraser: You chant Ray? Vecchio: Well, not anymore. From now on it's hard evidence and imperical logic. Fraser: It's a wise decision. Ida's Friend: Excuse me. I was just at Ida's place. She found these on the floor and asked me to give them back to you. Vecchio: Thank you. Ida's Friend: If you ask me though, ya got such nice eyes it's a shame to cover them up. Vecchio: Rally. Ida's Friend: Yeah. Would you like to go out for a coffee or something. Vecchio: I'd like that very much. Ida's Friend: Yeah? Great. Great. [they walk away leaving Fraser by himself.] Vecchio [to his date]: Oh, watch out for that crack. Bad luck. [Fraser looks at his feet, moves foot from crack and whistles tunelessly as he looks around to make sure no one saw him moving off the crack] End. |